the journey of life

My family

2011-07-17T00:05:00.001+08:00

I miss home!

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If only....

2011-07-17T00:01:00.001+08:00

If only things were different.
If only i could change my life.
If only im not the oldest.
If only i had someone else bear the responsibility.
If only......
If only......
If only......

If i just have the power to do all this,
Maybe it will turn out differently.
But my fate has already been written and this is what I am fated to do.
What else can I do.
I can only be patience and be ready for all the responsibility I will have to bear.
Its hard for a young girl like me.
To be bothered by all this.
But what else can I do.
They're my family and i need to help them.
It may not be easy but I hav to try.
Sacrifices are needed when things turns difficult.
I wish all things problems ends as soon as possible.
So i dont have to worry about me & my family anymore.

Oh god! Please give me a sign to settle this.
I wana be back with them as soon as possible.

My heart aches but does anyone knows?
No.

So I must be strong!
Besides, I am the eldest. ='(

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When family feels like stranger

2011-07-11T01:58:00.001+08:00

How would you feel if someday, you knew a secret that has never been told..? Until now. When u found it out urself. How would u think...

Well, that's how I feel now. But the worse feeling is, knowing that you've been backstabbed by the people you call family. People who you will turn to when you are in trouble, people who will support when no one else will, will be there for you when you need them the most, they will love you more than anything. Right now, the only thing I know is.....

Should i even think of them as family, meanwhile.. all this time they were selfish and never thought of us but themselves. If only i could.. i would have just forgotten abt them. But they are my family, loved ones.. i hope all this ends well.. and fast. Its giving me sleepless nights.

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Kibummie!! he made my day~

2011-05-22T02:32:00.001+08:00

I can't thanked him enough to make me feel so lucky today!
Love him to the core!
He gave me the best experience, a fan could ever ask for!
Just thinking abt all that had happen, is making me so hyper all over again. Hehe.

너무 너무 너무 좋아! ㅎㅎㅎ
He's the best!
난 정말 사랑하는 널..! 단지 널, 기범아...
찐자 감사합니다!

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You again.

2011-05-16T19:48:00.001+08:00

Even when i miss you. No one in the world knows it but me.
But you rather show it to the whole world that we are nothing
But just strangers....

Thanks. Thanks to you.
I thought we could be just friends again.
Thanks for disappointing this person again.

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Not again.

2011-04-13T00:02:00.001+08:00

Its back to square one. He's back again after a year or two? Not exactly he came back. But things related to him. And when i tot that everything is left behind and forgotten. Trying so hard to stay away from him. There's always something that pulls us back together. Whether we like it or not.

Definitely im trying so hard to stay away. Cos i know.. between us never actually began.. We started as friends and we should hav ended it as friends.. but unfortunately.. somebody is too jealous or angry that he cant be the person to be my lawfully wedded husband.

We werent meant to be.. what u expect. Stop making this hard for me. But no, u have to make it hard for me. You have to follow it ur way. You never once tot of me.. how i feel, why im doing all this. Is revenge that sweet that you want more than what you already have now. Im living in guilt and you're still not gona forgive me?... so egoist. So typical you boy.

Move on.. which i think u havent. You're my bestfriend, one way or another. And i know how you feel right this moment but you need to forgive me. Let me be your friend again, so carefree. Soo easy. It was easy then, why it be that easy now too.. Its the past. Let it pass us by.

Im sorry.

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So many months

2011-04-04T11:04:00.001+08:00

Soo many months i havent update this blog. I guess i have nothing much to say? Nope. Just busy. Loads happen, just forgotten evrything abt the blog. Lolx.

A month more before waidi's birthday. Lots to prepare. Im feeling kinda of lost lately, mayb because i hav so many thing in mind.
• Preparation for waidi's birthday
• Application for BTO flats in tampines opens next month
• Planning to buy a car.

And of course, my daily busy life is already enough to make me go crazy. Sheesh..
Sometimes i dont even know why my schedule is so packed.
No time for loads of things and by the end of the week, i'm so shagged already. Always feeling so tired and keep wasting my day away with sleep.
Maybe i need to catch up with the lost of sleep from every week day. I definitely have no time for my girlfriends anymore. Woahh!
But yeah, eversince Waidi is around. Weekends are for family, weekdays are for friends, if i happen to meet up with them.

Anywaes, need to start working right now. No more chilling, loads of urgent stuffs to do.

Toodles. =)

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That friend.

2010-07-07T18:56:00.001+08:00

Right at this moment. I'm missing a very dear friend of mine. He was always there to listen to my personal problem.

He even knows when I'm having those personal problems. I dont know why, but with him.. I dont feel uncomfortable. I can simply tell him everything. Now that school has ended. I dont see him anymore. And it sucks.. There isnt anyone for me to share this with.

When life, actually feels like getting better. There's always something that will ruin everything. Now life isnt feeling so good nor happy. Im feeling like i'm not appreciated again. It was better then.

Always gettiing all moody. What is wrong? What did i do to be treated like this? Hmm.. Everyone is tired.. But please think of other people's feelings.

Hah! Shits happen. All i can do, is swallow it. Even if its poison. If everything was just care-free. Like last time, when i was 15? There wasnt any big deal problems like this.

No use looking back. Things wont change and cant be altered back. So dont bother.

Human's heart?

2010-06-26T03:39:00.002+08:00

I am a human myself, but sometimes i don't really understand how the human's heart functions. How sincere it maybe either. But the thing i wana talk about now is...

How much hatred does one heart can bear? Can withstand? Can be kept? Have you wonder about that?

To think that no one IS perfect, yet there are people who won't stop dissing others yet they themself aren't perfect. Why don't you change yourself first then you think..? Do you have the right to talk about others? Definitely not.

Because of hatred, there'll never be peace. Why is there war? Because hatred exist. Because some humans just doesn't want to give in. Forgive and forget. Easier said than done. Yes, I know. I'm a human too.

But i just can't accept the fact of thinking that there others out there who might be dissing about me, behind my back. I'll definitely won't like it.

I can get pissed off and tell that person off.. But i can also shut it, and let it be. Its a choice. Everyone has a choice, because of choices, you shape your future.

So what is your choice...?

Always something new.

2010-06-11T16:00:00.002+08:00

안녕하세요 모두. - "Hello everybody."

Since I'm really wasting my bloody time at home.
So, i decided to learn something beneficial.
And I've been stressing my brains, learning korean.
To recognise the alphabets isnt that hard.
But to translate the words to english.
Thats quite hard and confusing.
And since korean isnt exactly like english sentences.
I'm having a hard time making a sentence.

하지만 괜찮아.. =) "But that's okay."
I'm trying my best to understand.
Hopefully i can ace this.
All the best to me!

It's soon

2010-05-12T18:19:00.006+08:00

Suffering inside,
It's killing me.
I'm giving up,
My body is giving up.
Too much to handle.

I can't believe things have
gotten worse to the extend
that I'm feeling Lost.

Lost in this thick and creepy mist.
Im alone, And I'm suffering.
The pain is excruciating.
It doesn't feels numb anymore.

It's building up, and it can't be stop anymore.
My suffering gets worser.
I'm losing. Im suffocating.
I'm dying. Nothing much left i can do.
But when times like this..
When you think all that suffering will kill you.
And help you end that misery.
Well, its only dreams.
That will never happen.

Now what do i do..?
Hmmph... Me... Give up is always the easiest way out.
But will it be easier afterwards,
as you predicted or assume.
Not everything you plan, always go your way.

So what i'm doing now is,
Being optimistic.
Think that there's always, a way to settle this.

Funny how i say it,
like its so easy.. right?
But it happens.
And it's true.
Some things are better left unsaid.
****************************************************

About being a good friend and about life -

I learn this from the anime show, Naruto.

You must be thinking its pathetic.
And childish all but actually,
it has more meaning than anyonee can imagine.
What life really is and how it has resemblance
with all the humans who lives among us.
How most human actually have the same kind of thinking.
Tho they don't know each other.

Even if there are parts, where it can't really happen.
But if you were to paint it, in reality.
Some things are actually connected.
That story made my life, a more meaningful one.

Learning to persevere and never give up.
To always be there and fight for your friends.
To always be generous and share your experience.
Teamwork and working together as one.
To understand other people's journey of life.
To make people persevere for their own lives.

There's so much to learn and see from this show.
And of course, the harsh reality of life.
DEATH AND SUFFERING.
You can never really run away from that.
And when the time comes, you will die.

There's so much more to life.
Explore and search the meaning of it.
Why some people will say,
"Life is worth living" =)

The Past.

2010-04-08T20:25:00.004+08:00

Last night, Me & Eddy chat about childhood memories. And his past sounded so meaningful, so lovely. As compared to mine. Then i think back that, everybody has their own walks of life. I've had mine, differently too. But there are also lines to draw, in my part. He didnt then. Because he didnt had any knots. But either ways, I''ve had my fun. And still having it, still living it. Lovely moments.

`Now i think i miss him. Missed our time. Just us.
- It has always been him. =)

That very day.

2010-04-07T01:14:00.006+08:00

Everything was fine before that day, it changed my life.
All the times, i felt that my life was great.
It drastically turn my life around since the day,
I lost my dad.

It has been 12 years since he left me.
And during that 12 years, i lead a hard life.
Maybe i made it hard for myself.
Or maybe, i just needed to learn from the hard way.

My life was becoming more wild and over the limit.
I never really bother what my mom would feel.
Or if she was worried, maybe still awake, waiting for me.
Or maybe she is sick.

I got myself into smoking and drinking.
I wont be home at this hour neither
I bothered about school.
We will always quarrel about my behavior.

But even that, i've always gotten what i wanted.
She never said "no".
She always try to get it for me.
Even that, i didnt realised my sins.

Until the day i was dragged to the Police station.
Suspected to be involved in.

When i heard that my mom, was crying outside.
Waiting for me to be out.
I realised something, first time in my entire life.

Luckily, i was just under probation,
And sent for counselling.
After that few months of life searching.

I found someone who changed me.
And mould me to become someone worthy.
Eddy.

Eversince he entered my life, i gave up alot of things.
Especially bad company.

My whole world, just revolves around him.
He was the only thing i saw.
He meant so much to me.
He even gave the most precious present i could ever asked for.
Waidi.

An Angel for above.
He brought hope, he brought life.
And he looks exactly like me.
He is 3 years old now.
And he never fails to make me proud.

What all mothers would want.
He is so bright and just so lovable.
He will always bring to tears to my eyes.
Tears of happiness.

He thought me so much about life,
That i didnt know.
That i was so oblivious to notice.
And it thought me, how hard it is to be a mother.
And knowing how my mother would have felt,
years ago.
To all the sins i've committed.
And the tears and heart aches i've given her.
Now i know.

That sacrifices is part and parcel of a mother's life.
And unconditional love for her child.
No mothers can ever hate their children.
Hatred is never powerful enough to destroy that love,
the love they have for their child.

And now, im content, the very least.

What's happening?

2010-03-17T17:08:00.002+08:00

Sar.. I dont know what's with u and ur mood swings.
Its driving me nuts, u are driving me nuts.
I dont understand u.

And its hard to help when i dont know what is happening..
And im always in the dark. Then suddenly u just become random.

And i know im this 'Random Girl' but atleast make me understand first.
Before u throw it on me.. I mean. I dont even know if i want to be angry at u or what.

I wana help but u REALLY need to calm down.
Mayb even go to a specialist.. If it is really affecting u.
U really to slow down ur pace.. I cant catch up wit u cause i hav my own life too.
So, im in a slower pace u noe. =)

Haiish. Never fail to call me. No matter what's the time pls. Im begging.
I really am worried. Hmm....

" Not everything in life, you need to do it alone."

Moving On.

2010-03-12T23:16:00.002+08:00

Im moving on with life. Loving the person i love the most.
Nothing else matters.

Nice to have a Great friend like Sar..
To share some things that bothers me in life.
After soo long in school, now then we are so close.
Haha.. funny. 2 years of school. And school in ending soon.
We are gonna graduate and now we are like Best Buds.
Lols. Shud hav been closer last time. Fate.

Im feeling very happy and excited cause Eclipse coming soon.
And i definitely can't wait for it. Gonna watch it wit Sar.. Hopefully.
*******************

Everything that happens in life has a meaning behind it.
I've never really understand what the meanings....
But it made me a wiser person.
Some things happen, I myself can't really get over it.
But we neeed to learn how to move on.
We need to leave the past, to live the presence.

How much i loved the past, i still have to love the presence too.
Missing the past is never a sin or wrong.
But that's all.
I've never regretted anything.
I'm content.
I feel complete.
But at the same time, i feel hollow.
Why?

You know, when u know you did something wrong..
Yet you're not forgiven?
Yet someone out there hasn't move on.
You know cause..
That somebody was actually someone close to you.
I actually have dreams of these people.
And yet I'm ignored.
Pretended like i don't exist.
Even when I'm trying.
I'm invincible.

Tho things never really turn out good.
I still smile.
Smiling is nice.
It's warm.
And all i hope is that..
These people i care for..
Will smile too.
Smile with me.
"You may never know who might fall in love with that smile."
=)
______________________________

`Smile... Though your heart is breaking...

In their shoes.

2010-02-17T13:27:00.002+08:00

I was reading through the posts i've written. I realised something that i want to share.

Back to post: My Apologies.

I think now i know why the guys dont even want to be my friend. If i were to be in their position. Seeing the person i've loved married somebody else. When all this while i've waited for that person to be mine. It's gonna hurt alot. U may actually breakdown.

Hmm.. May i need to understand them too. I love them, still am. And always thinking of them. Like hows life and all. Just hoping that all is well.

And yea.. I think i dreamt abt one of them last night. Im not sure who but in my dreams i felt that this guy sitting beside me is somebody i know for quite some time. Cos i was comfortable wit him. I didnt felt like he was a stranger. I guess i worried abt my frens too much. And the guilt too. Haiish. If only i could change some things in life.....

I broke people's heart. How can i feel complete when others arent..?
_________________________

•Always am sorry. Always hoping for their friendship.

Friendship can end up into love. But love can never end up wit friendship.

My apologies.

2010-02-14T00:21:00.001+08:00

I dont know whats going on...
Im like fucked up.
What did i do wrong?
Did i do something wrong to him?
Well, he's not replying to any of my msgs..
And i notice, everytime i chat wit him,
He will go offline...

Goshh.. Its freaking shit feeling not knowing what you have done wrong and suddenly people are ignoring u.
Why cant people just be straight forward?
Tell me.. Dont make me feel guilty.

Dont let me make my own assumptions.
I hate judging people. Now im judging myself. What sins have i done to received this kind of treatment..?

I know life isnt unfair. But why must this happen to me..? Why not somebody else?

Did i did it again? Hurting another one for wat i am now..? Its enough wit 2 guys, now one more?

My past wasnt good. But watever it is now.. Theres notink i can change it. Dont make me suffer one more guilt. I couldnt even be forgiven by 2. Now one more...?

I never wanted to hurt anyone..
I love my frens alot! And i dont want to lose them bcos of something that i cant change and do anytink abt it.

None of them is willing to forgive me. I never meant anyting to harm u. Just be my fren. Is that so hard..?

My sincere apologies to the people whom i've hurt these past 3yrs or 4 yrs. I love you guys but our friendship is just as precious to me as my family.

You guys just dont understand.

hEartsx,
zAza.
xoxo

*Thanks for the memories.

Incomplete.

2010-02-12T22:51:00.002+08:00

GeoTagged, [N1.36329, W103.95248]

Dear Heart,

What is this feeling, im feeling right now?
Why this feeling of losing something, missing something?
Feeling of incomplete all of a sudden?

I feel like there's a missing piece, lost somewhere.
*********

I miss feeling complete, i guess. Being able to see my frens, having fun and laughter. Work has been occupying my time. And when i get home, im already too tired to go out.

And my frens, are busy too. We dun hav much time to spend with each other either. This long holiday? I need to spend time wit family. Im not even sure if my frens will be free too.

Sam will be busy for sure, since she's already married. So she's out.

Fiza and fana probably be working.
I know fiza needs to book her motor prac. And fana wit her double jobs, taking up all her time. To fill up her time.

Left ulfa, shakila, azimah, kak afah.
But i tink kak afah will be working.
And azimah too, busy wit little roy too.

The other two? Probably be busy wit bfs.
So back to square 1, i have to sit at home again. Shit.

I hv other frens... Nice close frens.. Mayb i can asked them out. Hmm...

Life is short. Too short..

Love, life and death.

2010-01-23T19:11:00.004+08:00

Can something be more precious than your own life?
Can something be worth the pain and tears you tolerate and shed for?
Can something means so much to you that you're willing to die for?
Feeling of lost when it's not there with you?
Knowing where it is but still worries?

Always thinking of it before you do something?
Will you feel upset when you cant give anything to it but just your love?
When you feel like you're not worth its love?
When you thought that you love it more than it loves you?
But knowing that maybe, you are wrong?
That maybe it loves you more than anything in the world.

To knowing that, even in a million years,
You'll never regret loving it.
Though times were never always good.
And tears are all you can give,
And sacrifice was never a burden.
But just to see it smiles, anything in the world you would do.

To selfless and never selfish.
To think of it first rather than yourself.
To push away all the hardship,
To give it a better life.
To help it along the way.
To fight with it through this life together.
To promise to love forever.
To never give up though one fails.
To bring happiness no matter what it takes.

Love.
Its makes you become like this.
Just for that one person.
That person who is worth your love.
Your sacrifice.
Your tears, your pain.
Though you think, along the way.
You may fell for someone else.
But to knowing and reminiscing back the past.
You'll see that no one can takes his place.
When years and years of getting so used to it.
Its harder to let go.

Though sometimes my ego take over me.
My pride, to not show people that i'm weak.
But deep inside, i think i am.
If someday, i had to let him go.
I'm not sure if i can.
Will i be able to accept fate?

Everybody dies, but when his time is up.
Will i be ready? Can i accept it?
Or maybe the other way around.

When my time is up,
Will he be able to take care of everything?
Will he be able to survive without me?
Will he find someone new?

Life is scary, if only you could know.
When your time is up.
Atleast you can make the last few amendments,
you want to do in your life.
To be able to live with life without regrets.

If only we could know....

`zAza. <3

Missing.

2010-01-02T08:39:00.002+08:00

I feel something is missing in my life nowadays. But i dont know what.
2010 is already here and im growing another year older.
Its scary to get older. And i dont want to be older. But what choice do we have.

I think i know what is missing but i not gonna think about it.
Cause i know its wrong.
But no worries, the journey will soon end. And i dont need to think about it anymore.
Missing something that i shouldnt.

Im not getting myself into the pit.
I cant but since its gona end soon, might as well enjoy it while i can.

Edward.....

Things shouldnt be this way.
I dont want to hope.
Hope has pros and cons.
If u hope and it will happen its fine
But if it doesnt, u'll be disappointed.
Why get hurt because of hope?
Hoping things to get your way.
I'll move on when that time comes.

I can be sure of that
Cause its gona be too far to see anymore.
Its easier that way.
So much easier when its like that.

What would you do, if you think
You've found someone u searching for
But its just like a fairytale.
It wont last.
And you have no choice but to move on.
I guess it hurts? Nehh.
Just freaking shit. U're stuck
But have to keep moving cause u noe it will never happen.

Keep moving forward.
____________

2010

Not much of a year to looking forward for me. Waidi's goink to sch.
Im worried. Should i be?
I dont know.

Im freaking tired from the days.
And i dont know how to make it all
Go away.
I just want everything to stop for awhile.
But time is moving so fast,
And i dont like it that much.
______________

Congrats Babe.

2009-12-28T21:40:00.005+08:00

Congratulations to Sammi.

She's getting married. =)

Wishing you all the best babe.

I'll always be your friend aights?

I'll always be here for you when u need me.

Hope you will lead a better life than this.

All of us grew out.

We've become mature young adults.

Me, Azimah.. And now Sam.

We are all having a family.

Well, I guess that's nice.

Love you Sam.

Take good care of yourself.

Girl friends

2009-12-25T10:46:00.008+08:00

Save the best for last,

Through thick and thin,

Together forever.

______________________

Feeling something's amiss.

Now i know,

I miss my frens.

My great frens.

We may not be as close as before.

But we will be there.

If each of us, needed each other.

We've grew out from our childhood days,

And most of us are getting mature,

We change too.

But no matter how hard it gets.

We will still meet, not like we used to.

But we still do.

Once in a while,

We'll catch up with our craziness.

The laughters, the jokes.

We never really part.

When we're together.

We're like kids again.

Back to the old times.

It's nice to see them again.

We shared alot together.

Go through thick and thin.

There's so much memories,

That can never be erased.

I love my girlfriends alot.

And i know they love me too.

That's all that matters.

Nothing else.

Thanks girls for being my friends.

___________________________

The times we've shared,

was ours to keep.

The choices we made,

was never to be force.

We're just friends,

to help you make the right decisions.

But all of us are stubborn.

So, why talk?

Cause no matter what happens,

We cared.

Love you.

Life through my eyes

2009-12-24T16:34:00.009+08:00

The harsh living,
The treacherous journey to happiness.
__________________________

We live in a harsh world.
Where everything always doesnt go your way.
Some people are luckier than others and some are just not so lucky.
But that's life isn't it?
We ourselves sometimes, dont appreciate what we hav.
We never get enough of it.
We always want more.
That's where our mistakes is, not everybody sees things the way i do.
I notice alot of things around me.

Funny how humans are actually. I may not
be able to see myself from other people's eyes.
But from my eyes, to see others.
I will reflect it back to myself.
And realising what mistakes they made,
and hoping i dont make the same too.
How some people are so cocky,
but yet they're nothing special.
How some girls, get jealous over another.
How some people are selfish,
Not about money but knowledge.

Thinking they're superior but they are also humans.
And someday all of us will die.
And be at the same level on Judgement day.
Why cocky? Why selfish? Why show off?
There's nothing special.
I call it LUCK.
God gives each of us different obstacles in life,
But how you handle it is the important part.
You may be rich, but you're not happy.
You may be poor, but you're content.
Why is that?

Its how you take charge of your life.
How you interpret things in life.
What you think about life.
How you learn to accept the challenge in life.
All of the things count.

Im happy, content with my life.
Though may be not-so-good.
But it's enough.
But if can i achieve better than i am now.
I would go for it. But not for my sake.
For others. My family, my mom.
I want to be somebody that's worth it.
I want to make my mom happy.

I've been so oblivious about life, all this while.
I dont want to regret again.
I dont want to repeat my old mistakes.
I want to look forward to a new beginning
And a happy ending.
____________________________

I want to change something.
And make a difference.

The taste of revenge

2009-12-22T20:10:00.003+08:00

Smiling at the face of death.

Death is easy, living is harder.

_______________

I may be very quiet, very patience. Just because I dont want make it chaotic.

Seriously, she thinks I'm good at being relax. But dont try too hard. I may flare.

Hmph, how naive could she be..? Funny huh.

She is still a child, so easily dealt with. It sounds harsh?

Maybe i wana make it harsh.. But time will tell.

She will see someday, when I run out of patience.

When the word friends dont exist between us anymore.

Then I'll show you, how bad i could be.

Bit by bit, my poison will kill you.

That's definite. And little by little, my smile gets wider.

I'm winning, without you knowing.

That's how you become a good actor and a smart enemy.

Your secrets, your attitude. I know. Your weakness.

You tell me alot. And that could get you in trouble.

Stupid. A devil behind angel's wing. LOL.

No more child's play, babe. Im tired.

The road is gona get rough. Seriously.

And everybody will be backing me up. For sure.

How do people wana like you, if you're irritating.

You dream too much. You dont listen to people's advice.

Look yourself in the mirror and see where you stand.

Put your feet on the ground and think how high could you reach.

How far could you dream from earth?

No where near the sky.

Not even close.

So why dream all the way to the moon,

even the sky you couldnt reach?

Dream to where you could reach and someday you can

make it happen. But dreaming something you can

never reach, someday it will just pull you down.

When you're mature enough, you will know.

You still living in denial.

Still not realising what is what.

But actually you do, you just dont want to accept the fact.

You accept the fact that some people are better than you.

All you think of is yourself.

As long as you're happy, you will get everybody in trouble.

Selfish.. Tsk tsk tsk. How many people you

do wanna drag to hell with you?

Stop what you're doing and knock yourself on the head.

Realise it before its too late.

Till then.

Time is running up.

My patience is running out.

*devilish laugh*

______________

Why her...?

2009-12-10T23:32:00.002+08:00

Sam...

I didnt expect this to happen to u too. I dont want u to be next.
This is not the life u would want at this age.
The sacrifice, the suffering.
Not now.
You dont wantt this. You may think its easy. For now.
But not later. I had the same thinking two years ago.
But if i could stop it from happening. I would but there's notink left to say
I love u that's why im nagging. I dun want someday, it turns out bad.
Gosh! You dun noe how i feel. If only you could feel how i feel for you.

Didnt expect this to happen so soon.
Why..? Whatever your decision might be.
Hope you will lead a happy life.
I cant say anytink more. Cause it is your life right now.
Your choice. The choices you choose will be your future.
Im just a friend, there's notink i can say anymore.

Just to let you know. I care for you.
If can, dont choose this path.
It's all in your hands. Hope you have a happy life.
Love you loads.

Happy but feeling bad at the same time.

2009-11-24T20:49:00.003+08:00

I'm happy cause New Moon is coming very soon. =) I really excited. Seriously. I've waited so long for this movie, hope its worth watching tho. Hmm..

Anywaes, i feel bad cause i told Ms Stella about Puven not coming and always taking MC, and he was asked to be sent back to school. IMMEDIATELY.

How would i feel now. Haiish. Only god knows. But if i didnt tell, it will be worse. If thee company itself complaint to ITE, Puven will definitely flunk, that's one. Then he will have to repeat another 6months for IA Attachment. Secondly, All of us will get affected too. And then, next time no more ITE students for Attachment.

They told me it was the right thing but i still feel so bad, its like i stab my friend's back. Haiish. Shit. Now I wont get to see Puven anymore. It will definitely feel different. Alot different without him at work anymore. I hate to have to bear this burden as an IC. Its really stressing, everything these people will come to me. And if i dont have answers, its worse. And even if i have, im also trying to cover up their ass. Haiish. If i told the truth, they'll think im abusing the power but if i dont tell the truth. I'll feel like shit cause i'm lying.

I dont know if it was good that Mr Steven has chosen me as the IC. I dont know if i really deserve it. I didnt even want it in the ferst place. Haiish.

Im just feeling shity. I need to think of something to relax myself. Till next time then.

** New Moon. =))

My boyfriend.... Soo handsome. Hmm.......... *dreaming* *winks*

Happy Birthday Baby!

2009-11-01T01:27:00.007+08:00

Happy 31st Birthday. There was nothing much I did for him unlike last year. But I did brought him a cake. Just us family in the house. It's more than enough tho. =) Hope that me and my small little family will have a happy life and that we will always be togeda if life gets tougher. Loving my boys always too. =)

Here is something i dedicate to my husband and babyboi. =)

Its notink much but that's how much they really do mean to me.

Most importantly is my babyboi then my husband.

He is my life now. All i need is Waidi.

Without him, I wont be like this.

You know, some people asked me. Why after giving birth, tho it's painful and all, why do most mothers say it is worth it. Because the child itself is worth dying for. You struggle 9months to carry it around. It isnt worth it? What ever you do, where ever you go. The child follows you for 9 months. What would you feel? He even felt your burden, your feelings, he even shared with you what you ate. Doesnt it matters? It does. Everything we did togeda for 9months, it meant something. It means alot to mothers.

Some people are also wondering why we are able to be patience with them even if it breaks our hearts. Because they are still our child. Without them, there will never be happiness. Some people say, they wont get married. Marriage is not important. Well, those people are stupid. Seriously. Having children is not because that someday you will get old and want somebody to takecare of you. Having them is happiness. No matter how much it hurts but someday they will make us proud. And that is the part when you will cry tears of happiness.

They are never a burden. They are our obligations. Someday, when these people get old. And then they will see, everyone will smile with a child or grandchild in their arms. Then they will understand the true meaning of children. They are the people that will heal your pain, will make you happy, will bring you happiness and they will also give you hope. Hopes and dreams that you never thought it was possible.

A gift from god than can never be bought by money. Having your own children is a joy that can never be forgotten nor be replaced. There's nothing else that you could asked for. Their laughter, their smile. Where can you find it without them? Seeing them grow and learning new words each day. It makes you feel proud and happy. The joy we parents feel for our child is more complicated than just happy. Happy is a simple word but if there is any other better word i could describe. I would.

Love them and never regret loving them. And even if things get tough, be there for them till death we will part.

Loving him always.

I will see him again in heaven. ;)

Updates for the few weeks of work.

2009-10-31T08:45:00.002+08:00

Work is great. I made many great friends and I have no regrets working in Eurocopter. This is one experience i will never forget. Tho sometimes, we get very tired cause there's alot of work. But it's worth it you noe. The people there are all friendly. =)

But the sad part is My Filipino Buddies are goink back Philippines 1st december. =( We jus knew each other. Yet they're goink back soon.. haiish. So boring. They have been the ones to make our stay at Eurocopter a fun one but it's just too bad. Other than that, there's nothing much to talk about.

Went out with them and my friends yesterday, had a coffee at starbucks. Taking rubbish and laughing all the way. Hmm... I've never heard coffee could make u drunk! hahaha. =P Anywaes, i had loads of fun. Tho most part Sakinah was always lost. Hahah.

Monday, an Inspector from France is coming to our company for an inspection. Im not really sure what kind of inspection. I heard it was something like a cleanliness and things are put up in order, cannot be untidy kind of thing, I guess. Maybe something like that. Hahah. I'm not sure. Anywaes, because of that, me and Vincent didnt packed Lloyd's toolbox. Hahah.

We always do, and we put all sorts of rubbish inside. Haha. Idiot Lloyd. Lol. He's a great friend. =) Gonna miss him when he's gone. Hmm... Planning all our free time to go out with him and Geric before they go back. We're probably gonna go and watch movie someday.

They even said that this is the first time any attachment students ever asked them out. We were surprised but we said that we will be goink out very often since they are goink back soon. We want his last fews stay in Singapore be a memorable one. =)

And also, me and friends made a new friend. His name is Daniel and he is from Germany. He'll be here for 5 months and he is goink back soon too, at the end of January. Sakinah will sure be heartbroken. Hahah. Okok, and so i tot of trying to get close enough to let him join "our group". Hahah.

Just hav some fun, you know. He doesnt seem to have much friends and that's a waste. He shud get to know Lloyd and Geric. Tho, i tink he will hav a problem understanding Geric's english. Hahahah! But i tink they can get along just fine.

So, i guess that's all. Tomorrow's My Baby's birthday. I meant my hubby ok. Lols. So, I need to prepare some stuffs. Wryte again soon. =)

2009-10-19T14:00:00.002+08:00

Off from work today. Hmm.. but bored. I dun even noe wat to do.. Shit.
Hahas. I cant think of anytink to do. Seriously boredom. But never mind,
tomorrow working. Yeap.. Heheh. It tiring to work but its fun.
I dunno. I tink Im something wrong. But true ryte? If u've been working
and suddenly you stayed at home on a working day. U feel so tired, so lazy.
Cause its boring.

I actually got notink much to tell.
But i was just thinking my other classmates.
How's their work.... Hmm..
Ok, Hafis, Man all. I know. Cause its only four busstops away,
from my company. But wat about Din? Or Sid? Or Jason?
Haha. Miss them alrdy. We wont be seeing each other for quite long.
Mayb Hafis can meet up. I always meet up with hazreel.
Or mayb Sid can meet up too. Cause its quite near with my company too.
But mayb Din or Jason. I wont get to meet.
Just have to wait, to asked them about their work.
Actually can SMS la.. But paiseh, I never really msg them before.
And then now, I want to msg them. Hmm... It feels so weird.

Yea.. well, anywaes.. Bob passed away 2 days ago. Haiish.
Sooo.. unexpected. Didnt tot it wud be this fast.
I guess when its time to go. Its time to go huh.
Everybody is gonna miss him. It will be different without him.
All we can do is pray for him. And he will always be remembered. =)
Just pity for his son. He is only 4 yrs old. What does he know?
Nothing. Haiish. He wont feel the lost now. But later when he grows older.
And unuderstand his surrounding. Then he will know. And that's the part,
when it hurts and he will feel lonely. Been there, done that.
Hope he'll make his father proud of him someday.

2009-09-30T18:35:00.003+08:00

What's my definition of life?

Life..
Its a journey. A journey to find that ever after.
In search of Happiness,
In search of Wealth,
In search of Good Living.
In search of Love,
In search of Mates.
And of course, That Happy Ending.

But to get there,
To get to your dreams.
Its not that simple.
That's why 'Life Is Complicated'.

It takes alot to reach to the top,
Alot that sometimes 'give up' is the option,
we choose.
But that's not it.
When we choose to give up,
That's when 'regret' surface.

Then that's when the point of no returns, exist.
'Cause Life gives us only one chance.
And if you decides to leave that path,
That's it.

You start again, but it won't be the same.
Everytime u start again, worst situations you encounter.
"Life is like a game,
Whether you want to gamble it all.
Or face other problems."
That's what some people says,
But not me.

I don't find Life, a game.
Games you can play again.
And try again.
But does Life offer you another chance?
Never.

So why lose that chance?
A chance of A Lifetime.

But still, we are humans.
No one is perfect.
And we make mistakes.
Sometimes get greedy.
We got blind along the way.
Gets distracted by things.

We need to fall sometimes,
To realised.
That's how we move on.
We get stronger
And we want to do better.
That's when we get wiser.

But never lose ourself.
That's one thing in Life we MUST never forget.
We lose ourself,
We'll lose everything we worked hard for.
Never forget all these, are from God.
He gives us today,
He can take it back tomorrow.
That's when the word 'Fate',
Takes its place.

This is what I define Life.

2009-09-17T00:19:00.005+08:00

here im updating for this month. i guess i'll just update for every month. i dun really hav time.

then now since hari raya is just around the corner. life is soo busy. haiish. loads of things to do. then i made plans wit my gfs to go geylang togeda. tho one of my gf is missing in the pic. cos she had to leave early. anywaes... here are the pics.

there are more.. but due to my pathetic comp. i cant update them. so.. just check it out at facebook.

2009-08-18T16:49:00.001+08:00

What did it took for me to see that life wasn’t just life? How to live life? These are the thoughts I’ve been thinking. If I hadn’t make any mistakes. Will life be different? I wondered. I’ve always wondered what would be if things didn’t happen. I’m not saying I’m regretting, just wondering. How life would have been if things went the other side of the path which I didn’t put a thought to it. Until now - I realized how much important your choices in life brings you, to the future. No doubt. So cliché- life suddenly left no meaning. Maybe to me though.

My life now is just about my beloved son. He revolves around my world. And because of him too, I’m trying my very best to be the best. Though things don’t always go the way I planned. But that’s ok. I can’t give up on him. Not even once. He’s my hope. It’s him – who gave me all this live! My smile and liveliness comes from him. Because of him – life means something more precious. He makes me feel whole.

It’s him who heals the holes in my heart - well actually there’s only one hole. But every time when it’s about to heal, someone will be the one to dig it up again. The same hole made by the same person. Over and over again, though that person is someone I love so dearly. Unexpected? Well, I’m not. It will just numb me more. The more he hurts me time and time again, it just get more numb. And maybe someday if I get lucky enough, I won’t feel hurt anymore. That’s probably be the day when I gave up on him literally. Yeah. I guess so. That’s when patience is at the limit. Though my darling son, will be so affected by my actions.

So, things like this need to be think thoroughly. Yeah. I love my son too much to let him suffer with me. Too much that I will die for him. Maybe you think I’m spoiling him. Actually I’m not, just justifying how much I would cost myself to ‘save him’. He’s my shoulder - my backbone. He’s my support, I need him more than anyone actually realized. Though, I don’t really show it. But it’s the facts of my life. Pathetic life isn’t it? Yes. Definitely, but that’s life. When you think it’ll get better, it’ll just give you more hurdles to overcome. Let’s just say I’m neutral. I can’t go cussing about my life but at the same time I can’t really embrace it either. So, I’m neutral.

`zaza.

2009-07-18T13:08:00.003+08:00

Damn. It seems like forever since I last update. Yeah. Well, I’m just lazy and having less time to use the computer. Anyways, thought of updating it today. So, what have I been doing for the past a month? I think. Nothing much, school and getting so engrossed to reading. Or should I say crazy is more appropriate word for my obsession to the books. Ha-ha. Anyways, I was also grieving for Michael’s death. I’m seriously, really.

So here goes, I wanted to blog this for awhile back but didn’t have the time.

Michael Jackson
29 August 1958-25 June 2009

In the loving memories of MJ.

Michael was the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met. Though, I might be too late to really get to know more about him. But he has always been a part of my life. His songs simple grew with me, in me. Since I was like 3? It’s so sad not just that he’s gone but the fact that he had lived a harsh life. From his father, to the paparazzi, and to the tabloids, and accusation, that he never did or have any intention of doing it.

Why can’t people let him live his life in peace? And now, though he’s gone to somewhere better, I hope. He is still being judged by the press. Ignorance people. What sins had he made to deserved all this pain? All this lies? What is wrong for one person to create a difference in our world? His purity, sincerity. His lovely personality, wasn't something to be judged or be misinterpret by these press. It wasn't easy for the press to break him apart and to change the mind of his fans.

Nobody ever did believe all they said were true. Something we can ignore no matter how harsh the words were to Michael.

Michael is such a loved guy. His joyful laugh, his childish and lovable attitude. No one can ever take His place. He made the whole world shocked about his death. How much, one could do to change millions of people's life. To touch most of our hearts. What a wonder, to this very significent human being.

Loving and remembering you always,

Michael Jackson.

*************

So, that's that.

And then, there's crazy over the books. Twilight~ and the continuation of it.

That's all, I've been reading it over and over again. Understanding the story better, though i already know and understand it well, it's just that i don't get bored of it. I get more excited reading it, imagining it. Ok. I'm becoming crazy? hahah. but seriously, i love it too much. guess that's all. nothing left to update. oh yeah, i'm going to watch Harry potter later at night with eddy. yeah. that should be all. toodles.

2009-06-02T23:55:00.004+08:00

hey ho.. hey ho...

hahas.. its was sOoOoOo LONG AGO HUH?

haha..

lazie actuallie.. yea yea...
lazie bum. i know i know..
hahas. borink la.. notink to update actuallie.

well... time flys soo fast. a week more in sch and

its closed the 3 weeks.

it seems like yesterdae i started sch again..

and its already the hols. hmmm..

sch seems soo bored now..

getting more difficult and boring.

seriously... been crazy over korean show like usual.

but more fanatic now. hahas.

especially boys over flower. woohoo..~ hahas

soooo hAnDsOmE~~!!!! hahas...

ok ok... mayb tad's just it.

yea.. but either wae.. the japanese version also not bad u noe..

tho the heros are not soo handsome. hahs.

2009-03-25T00:37:00.004+08:00

Heyy... It has been awhile ive not updated anytink.
I guess there's notink to talk about.
Except.....

That Ive lost a very dear friend.

Muhammad Haikal Bin Roslan.

2 November 1990 - 23 March 2009

I may not have many memories with hym.

But the tot of that I will never see hym again..

Makes me feel so sad.

He was a good friend.

Tho sometimes with quarrel over small things.

But you never fail to make me smile.

Whenever you see me..

You will always say you miss me,

Now I'll miss u forever.

It's just so unbelievable that you're gone.

I couldn't accept the fact that it's you.

Why you? Of all people.....

I havent had enough memories with you.

I'm sorry I didnt went to Blaze Camp with you.

I REGRET IT.

Only if i knew...

I would spent all the time in the world with you.

But now you're gone.

And there's nothing i can do anymore.

To make you feel happy.

To make you smile for me for the last time.

How can I make you smile now?

How much I'm regretting now...

Only if I knew...

I'm very sorry Haikal.

I never listen to you!!!

Urgh.... Feeling so crap right now.

I'll feel it until I die probably.

Argh... Shit.

You will always be remembered my dearest friend.

Always.....

2009-03-02T22:54:00.004+08:00

Exam's next week!!! haiish. stress.
ive not been studying. shits.

hahs. went to sch jush now wit hafis n

sid. but the rest nvr came.

wahlauei. like idiots u noe.

but nemind. tmr goink sch again.

Man oso goink. And sam also have to go

and buy sch clothes. soo... goink wit her.

hahas. bored to death sia.

have to entertain noty boi play soccer.

haiish. hopefully sumdae he wil

be a good soccer player.

seriously. if not.... ishk.

hahas. soo demanding uh.

okok. no la. just hopefully.

if not play other sports la.

watever he likes.

alot has been goink thru moii mind lately.

but not all is abt me.

ive been thinking abt wat sam told me

just now. either way i choose they are still

moii frens. there are good and bad.

but im alittle afraid if i choose the other

side. wat if tish side gets hurt again.

it will be back to square 1.

but if i dun side that side.

then that side gets hurt too.

either way i choose. one will sumhow get hurt.

but i realli want all get back together!!!!

but all i think abt is the future.

how the future will turn out. better?

or just back again?

i dun wan them to hurt each other.

but i like it when they were togeda last tyme.

just the fact that the past may repeat itself.

is the phobia. u noe....

i dun like moii fren gets hurt and being soo

heartless. but if not moii fren wont be

the person she was again. n become someone

knew. which is alittle bit shity.

mixing wit lesbian and all. eEeEe... hahahs.

okok.

wats gonna happen to all of us?

how future will turn out for us?

ever tot of it? i just did.

wat if we make the wrong mistakes

again? life will just gets worse ryte?

but wat if we make a good decision?

but ended up dislike wat he choose?

hmmm.... sumtimes life is complicated.

it wont alwaes turn out to be how u wanted it to be.

soo be prepared for the worst. ryte?

i dun tink im ready. but i have to be.

i tink too much is it? =)

probably ryte. but yea.

still... gotta be ready.

physically and mentally.

yeahh................

life is not that simple soo..

we cant be too simple minded either.

teehee. =) borink how life cud be

when ure older. shit mans.

how i wish im still in primary sch.

seriously. mayb i wont be soo stress.

thinking abt everytink around me.

hmm... hopefully when i wake up tmr.

moii mind will be more clearer. yea...

haha.

2009-02-24T23:37:00.005+08:00

cute isnt he??? lol

wOoHoo~!!

ive gone head over heels for korean drama now!

especially Jae Hee. haha. soo adorable...

seriously. hahas. kk..

he's just soo lovable. mayb tads y.

hahas.

orytee.. sch has been bored lately.
since all the subjects has completed.
soo we just have to come to waste our time.
taking attendance. hmm...
troublesome teacher.
hahs. exam is just around the corner.
soo... havent been studying either.
but soo far... okok. hahas.
hopefully can pass.
but need to go thru again the tutorial.
yeaa.... haiish..

wont be long in the sch anymore.
soon we'll be goink for attachment.
hmm.... im wondering wat we will do.
how is life as an engineer full time?
tiring? hard for girls?
curiousity. hahas. but hopefully i can make it.
yeap... i have to try and give moii best.
ok ok. done updating.

nytes. =)

2009-02-20T10:10:00.002+08:00

well.. i guess pple change huh? i wonder why u wanna get a tattoo?
u nvr tot of it before. why now? bcos of hym? since u're not wit raden.
u're not sam i guess. tho raden is like tad. he noes how to takecare of u.
u change from the person u are to sumone diff. yes! sumtimes i get sick of
how raden treats u. but mayb it was also for ur own good.

now that u're wit hugo. u wana do tattoo? why sia?
becos he got tattoos too? tad's y? pleash la sam. dun change becos
there's no one else to stop u. tad doesnt mean. its ok.
wat abt me? i care. put aside hugo. who doesnt bother to care.
but i do. who am i to u sammi...? u cant do this u noe.
u also wanna look like ah lian wannabe uh?
u are not being u... hope u realli think twice, triple times.
atleast think of me. im ur fren. and tattoo is not sumtink
sooo good k. pple see tattoo as bad pple u noe.
u want to label bad, noty? u're not like tad ok.
think sam.. think....

2009-02-20T01:39:00.004+08:00

haiish.. im being noticed! by some pple in sch.

wth? why u guys even bother mans???

u dun need to noe who am i and wats moii past u noe.

hmm..... u pple are making things hard for me.

between me and sumone in sch. whom i had to

alwaes hide from. hmph.

had alittle disagreement wit baby.

hmmphh... bcos of this u noe. haiish~!

wat am i suppose to do? tell the whole sch.

hahas. lame uh. six more months to go.. and

im gone. why need the big fuss ryte?

wadeva happen after tad. finish rdy wat...

now i just wanna be low profile u noe.

and not interested in any guy.

simple. doesnt it? hmmph...

i realli dun bother but baby is

making a big fuss. haiish.

sooo difficult... hahs.

i dunno la. wadeva it is.. i told moi fren..

if anyone asked moii name.. or moii past..

just say dunno and no moii past is not like wat u think.

final. hahs. i dun care wat baby is gonna say.

im definitely not gonna entertain these pple.

2009-02-10T20:38:00.004+08:00

heyy heyy... life's ok.

not soo "exciting" ... but changing things..

here and there. getting use to hard work.

or shud i sae hard and tired work.

moii body is aching. need to rest actuallie.

but i still got unfinished business u noe.

hahs. still got babyboii to takecare.

hahs. sooo.... now is the time i got for myself.

atleast for awhile.

valentines is coming. =)

Happy Valentines to Everyone.

But sad to say.... i wont be celebrating.

yea... as usual... sit at home probably.

life is never like last time.

yea.. but wat to do.

having waidi is also the best present

i cud ever asked for. =)

anywaes... herrzie has given birth to her

2nd child. im happy for her..

tho she didnt inform me and i jus

got to knoe. but its good tho.

finally.. she is really settling down.

Hope ur life now will feel more full.

Best Wishes My Fren. =)

2009-01-31T11:17:00.002+08:00

heyy.. its been awhile ive not updated.
actuallie.. i duno wat to update. hahas.
hmm... actuallie i have things to update.
but was just lazie and enjoying the hols
at home wit hubby n babyboi.
at soo much fun tad i forgot abt moii blog.
hahas.

like i said tad dae.. had a familie chalet.
yea.. ferst time in moii life i went for moii
familie chalet and had fun u noe.
i never realli mix ard wit them until now.
until i got married and got waidi.
i became a familie person. if not... i rather
waste moii time with outsiders and
not thinking tad moii familie is more important.

now i realised.. ive changed. and im happie
abt it. =) i never tot i'll change. but i did.
and im proud of moiiself. and tad i was able to throw
away the not-so-good frens i had before.
i just left and never turn back. even i had to
get away from moii own cousin.

anywaes.. during the chalet.. went everywhr ard
downtown east. spending time wit moii babyboii
and hubby. all the 3 days we jus spend time wit
each other and make every minute worthwhile.
but of cos wit moii familie too.

then.. spend another dae at home with them.
and tad particular dae when i wasnt in the mood
to go to school. i spend time wit waidi. cos the next dae.
moii hubby will start work already. soo.. we went
for breakfast togeda. and spend the whole dae
wit waidi. playing football and basketball until
the day ended.

k la gtg. he wants chocolate. hahas. byes.

2009-01-24T00:54:00.003+08:00

*`miisx-ing - hym. my frens.

can't sleep tonyte tho i feel soo tired.

im worried abt babyboii.
he's not feeling well ryte.
and now he got dierhoea. tho he still
play and eat and having fun.like as if he looks soo fine.
hahas. well... tmr got chalet.
hmm... im actuallie kinda of lazie to go.
ya.. cos im still feeling tired.
and moii body aches. just need sum time off.
but too bad. its a familie thingy u noe.
soo i have to go. a must. yea..

then just now our sch g0t a new jet plane. woohoo.

cool huh? hahas. k.

2009-01-22T20:25:00.005+08:00

heyy peeps. im bored actuallie. hehe. done wit moii chores.

then later have to go back tamp. like soon.

waiting for hubby. soo slow.......... havent comeback

from work liaos. like wat sia...

wat time wanna reach tamp sia. shit ryte? hahas.

k. summore waidi is sick. he's probably waiting for us.

hmpph... kk... todae sch was extremely EXPLICIT.

serious. Hafis la. shit hym. talk all the cock. hahas.

kk. tad's wat happen in class. i dun tink anyone shud noe.

but being the few gerls in class.. it feels like normal nw.

hahs. just got use to it already. hahahs. unbelievable sia.

seriously. lol.

ohh yea.. i had an issue in class just now. and i was alittle unpleased

wit wat i heard.

Abt guys already have gf but still wanna go fcuk other gerls.

i mean... yea.. mayb u are sick u noe. but dont be such a bastard.

i can fcuk ur gf wat. or if they are very good ones. then wait la.

u can alwaes feel the sensation if u get married to her sumdae..

if u still wanna play a fool. be la.. but break wit her. especially i

u're attached to gerls who are kuai. dun hurt them. pleash la.

if those bitches u wanna fool ard wit.. i dun mind k.

do know how to treat a gerl ok guys.

yea i noe sum gerls. dunno hw to appreciate guys. but u can

alwaes differentiate good ones and shit ones ryte

make ur choices. k. everyone has feelings.

i noe.. find the good one and settle down.

tad's all i can sae. hahs.

hehehs.... seriously u noe..

life is more meaningful like tad.

then u will see that actuallie there is tad sumone..

who is worth my time. hahas.

and u will appreciate them no matter how they are.

like me. i learn to love hym from his weakness.

and accepting hym for who he is.

its more worthwhile. =)

"He noticed me when i was invinsible."

2009-01-22T00:45:00.003+08:00

heyy... finally. DONE! hahas. kays.

i change the url cos.. i had probs wit the other one.

u wont understand. hahas. k. soo tad's y i decided to change

EVERYTINK. hehs. well... didnt go to sch just nw.

babyboii is sick. soo.. i had to stay home. just worried.

its been while since he got sick this bad.

soo.. i wanted to make sure he'll be fine u noe.

i mean.. i'll be finishing sch by 5. sooo..

i dun tink i can wait that long u noe.

hehe. he may not be searching for me.

but i'll feel bad if moii mom EVER msg me.

saying "he is searching for you." i'll feel like shit.

hahahs. kk....

i still got tings to finish. i wanna go watch suci.

hahas. k.

Here are some of the pix i took. when i took a ride on the Singapore Flyer.

Enjoy. =)

2009-01-09T14:37:00.000+08:00

well well... the baby is here! heheh. he's adorable.
yeap. but of cos moii babyboii is alwaes
betta la. ryte? haha. k.
but surprisingly moii son who is known for his
stingyness. is not stingy any more.
well.. mayb abit. but haha. wth.
its a miracle. hahha. he was soo happie when he heard
the baby is coming. mayb he wants a fren.
and the baby is a boi. so..
u noe when boi meets boi.
then have this similarity. hehe.
k. i dun noe how im gonna go home todae.
i mean moii babyboii doesnt wana get soo far from
baby. hmm... its like he realli like the baby u noe.
soo loving. hmm... he can already be a brother,a big brother.
haha..

sooo cute.. the both of them. it was like there is this connection.
get it? hmmm.... k.. anywaes..
i misx hym. hmm.. mayb im not coming home todae.
mayb nxt week. i probably have to come back here tmr.
soo.. wats the different. ryte? mayb can try talk it out wit eddy.
yeap2. cos tmr eddy's sister wana come here. to
see the baby. so wats the different ryte? ya. just planning ferst.
but this may not go the wae it is ryte. lol.
kk... im talking cock already.
chaos.

2009-01-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

hmmm... i dun undastand why sum pple...
are soo unbelievable.
serious shit. its the ferst time im seeing
things soo heartless u noe.
i can believe sumone hu is 28 yrs old.
not married having a child but is soo
cruel to leave her own child at the hospital.
and dun wana claim her baby.

wth?! wat is wrong wit her. she's 28. can u
believe it. and for sum reasons. we, young
mothers wud even keep the baby.
even as single parent. i mean its still
part of u. still u have to carry
the baby in the stomach for 9 mths.
soo many things we have to go thru
while having the baby. and she can simply..
leave her child AT THE HOSPITAL.
can u believe it. 28 u noe.

wat does her parents even teach her.
being irresponsible. fucking shit sia.
i feel soo heartbreak u noe.
i may have been a very stubborn kid b4.
but i wont b soo heartless to abandon
moii own child. serious shit.
wat is happening to the world now.
im speechless u noe.
thinking tad this pple can live their
lives like they didnt do anytink wrong.
not tinking tad they actuallie have
responsibility. and yea.. this is her 2nd
child.. that she left. how heartless.

i just pity the baby. but luckily..
moii hubby familie side. wanna adopt the
child. hopefully the adoption goes
smoothly. =)
*******************************

kays.. just now in sch. i learn tings
i nvr realli took notice or even take
the time to learn abt it.
of cos abt aeroplanes la. and i got
the answer that i tink Ms Stella or Mr Chua asked
me to find out. abt ESD... during flight.
how u discharge it from the plane. shit.
haha. after ive finish my project then i got to noe.
hmph. but soo ok la. wit Casper teaching.
seriously.. i tink i learn more than i shud b learning.
lol. k. but seriously.. he's good.

haha. i tink im falling in love with
aeroplanes now. hahha. the interesting things
happening abt the airplane that not many pple
even bother. hmmm.... how serious every part of
the aeroplane. =) ive been studying. haha.
kays. goodgerl already. hahaha. *winks.
kay la. thats all. nytes.

2009-01-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

wEee..~! Sch starts already. coolness. i misx sch la..
haha. k. counting down the days till i have to go attachment.
haiish. stress. im afraid or mayb not confident u noe.
8 more months to attachment. tad's fast u noe.
realli fast.

hmm...countdown was cool. even baby wasnt there
to celebrate wit me AGAIN. this year. hmph.
but atleast i get to enjoy a nite off from babyboi
and everytink. just wit moii darls. hmm.. thx guys.
u made moii dae. tho i got the ferst bad news of the YEAR.
fuck. hmph. just ryte after the fireworks. wth.
these people can never let me live moii life. haiish.
damns. idk why. hmph.

until when i will step down. i wana chill n raise moii child.
like normal pple. hmph.. haiishh.. k forget it.

anywaes.. pass moii FTT.. finally. and now i can book for
TP. but. its too early. serious shit mans. in 2 months time.
wth. i cant finish all moii practical in 2 months.
im busy too u noe. hmph. soo.. i'll have to wait till june.
but its ok. hopefully get moii license b4 moii bdae.
=) hehes. k.

im feeling kinda hapie. idk why. hahas. in fell in lovee.
AGAIN. hahs. heyy! don get me wrong uh. of cos wit moii baby.
hahas. just feeling like i fell for hym again. hahs.
i miisx hym. hahas.

i wana have a 2nd child. =( *sobs*. but i cant. too many
obligations. i still need to support baby wit the financial.
and i still wanna further up moii studies. hmm...
too many tings to tink. stress. but im afraid.
if waidi will feel...... u noe.. like i lovee the baby more
than hym. but of cos i lovee hym too ryte.

nemind. the dae will come. mayb in the mids of everytink
im getting a baby. i dun care. hmph. lol. insyaallah.
=) best wishes to me. haha.

2008-12-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

yOoo... peeps...
moii comp is infected by a virus called..
trojan. and the condition is pretty bad.
soo..... i wont b updating till dono when la.
haha. k.

sch starts in a weeks time. shit sia.
hmm... bored. but ok la. sit at home oso do notink.
stress wit waidi. getting noty.
he's the next eddy. yea.. soo...
live wit it. urgh..

mayb gonna misx tis yr's countdown again.
hmph. i dunno. i gt sick of make everytink soo
ryte anymore. kip tinking how all things wont go the wae
its planned.
i misx moii frens bt tads the prob.

i tink alot.. yes. but i just got wiser ok.
tads y i tink too much.
hmmphh.. sorie guys if tings wont happen.
tis time its moi bad. hmmm.....
hope u guys wont b mad. we will have another dae
togeda. hmmmm.....

2008-12-06T10:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm... goink out later and... i dunno wat to wear.
shits. either.. i wanna wear heels or slip ons. or wat....
hmph. stress. haha. not realli la. just lots in my
mind. u noe.. its been 2 daes not seeing baby. and sumhow
i misx that idiot. hahas. i mean he is irritating. and
yea. moi hubby. but i dunno. hahas.
but nemind. miting hym later. no worries. =)
still finding sum points but cant find it anywhr.
i got tis gerl. but there's no other proof xcept tad.
hmm. just mentioning d*** name, but frm the way she saes,
its like her bf or sumtink. but that's all. no other
points. no other pple tad has anytink to do
wit that mothafucker. haiish. still thinking.
still hoping that i'll find sumtink but...
i got sum of the places whr we might find them.
just mayb.. but oni need 1 guy. that's all.
nobody else. make sure. noone else gets in the wae too.
hmm... sickening pathetic twofaced matrep. ugh..
disgusting creatures.

2008-12-05T19:23:00.000+08:00

hapie 19mths babyboi.
hehes. he's all grown up and still growing.
made a new fren. known as louis. haha.
or i call hym bodo. haha. and he call me a stalker.
cb. anywaes.. mayb gonna slack wit hym tmr.
if he come and mit me. hopefully he dont busted.
like wat he did tis morning. hmph.

anywaes.. in sch just now.
do sum riveting and fuck moii sheetmetal
bend bcos of the rivet gun. shits. and it looks soo uglie.
hmmmm... anywaes. im jus bored. notink to blog.

ohh yea.. and i got to know. he really do have sum feelings
for her. OMG. like serious shit sia.
scary u noe. i mean hym.. and her? ok. forget it.
kays.. haha.

boring la........

2008-11-27T21:51:00.000+08:00

how pathetic i cud be yesterday. felling on moii same knee.
can u believe it. realli pathetic. lol.
and it was bleeding like shit. haha.
and the guy whom i asked for tissue,
was like stunned. hahaha. he got a little
worried look. but i just said..
"i fell just now and i dont have tissue".
lol. and he gave that "wth" look. haha.

kays. notink left to say la.
borink alrdy.
anywaes.. worried abt baby.
hmm.. he nvr get sick until tis bad.
haiish. he's probably sleepink nw.
pitiful.

2008-11-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

yea.. mayb its true la. just stop here for now.
let u get ur head straight and cool urself.
its time u learn how to control ur anger.
and im not gona b the one for u to throw tantrums at.

not anymore. neither u nor anyone else.
im just gona shut moii trap from now on.
no more joking around. if there's one of u.
there's sure others like u.

things will never be the same again..

2008-11-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

Life is soo unpredictable. u dun seem to realise that each passing day. ur life seems more sickening. too much pressure. too much despair. too much hatred. and the pple around u keep testing ur patience. patience has its limits.. yea.. everyone noes that.. but ever tot that sumday u'll just explode and never want to forgive that person. well, ive never treated moii frens that way before. but sumthing happen just now that. i dun tink i wana let it go just like that.

i probably just had enuff. no more being nice and patience and tolerate. just let the days go by like notink happen and that u never existed. enuff said. i just wanna stop all this shit. and just live moii life without caring or being patience with u. hatred has taken control over me towards u. and that's it. dun make it worse. just stay apart. dun be frens. i'll treat u like no one. mayb that will be the solution to this "cold war".

u may tink u have done notink wrong but i feel that u've done alot of mistakes. and being unfair that u can be that idiot but other pple cant. well, u tink u can simply get angry. yea2.. other pple too. just stop here.

2008-11-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

hazreel.. hazreel... hmmm... i want to ashamed u? no. but if i were to msg. i noe it gonna be long. soo i rather blog it. is it soo wrong? why do i have a blog for anywaes. retaliate u sae? hahs. ey... u onli go werk like a day? from yishun to tanjong pagar then back to tamp. woooow!~ far la sehh... wat about me? ever tot. i have to go all the way to bukitbatok. back to tamp. then back again to yishun. in 1 wk, how many times do u tink i have to take the MRT. 3 TIMES? ey mrt la boii.. 50cents. soo much too ask is it? its not just tad 1 wk u didnt came school. eversince tad dae, made u slack now. u dun even realise. u tink u are soo ryte..? u alwaes tink u r correct? ever once u even wanna listen!? fuck.

yea u came to sch. but half a day. EVERYBODY is seeing u change. not just me ok. when we tell u off. u never even care. then why do u tink i wryte it in moii blog. this semester is no timie to slack anymore la. cant u see. ya2... do project. i dun care all that. but if u tink just bcos of transport money. u wanna work ur ass off..? wat for....? enuff la haz.. if tads wat u tink is best for u. then ok. choose ur path. be ego. n just listen to urself. u and just u, alone. there's no use of a fren when tis is wat u alwaes choose to do. be selfish. be an idiot.

if wat im trying to sae is SOO wrong to u... then fine. soo be it. u're on your own la. im sick n tired. all u noe is retaliate la. be like adlan. b a jerk selfish brat. up to u. ur choice.

2008-11-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

wat is ur problem hazreel? u want to challenge me?? ko kata ko keras kpale? aku agik degil uh. if i say i win.. means i win... and u better listen. u never use ur bloody brain. aku bkn nk gado dgn ko. tapi sape yg bole uat ko sedar apa yg ko uat skrg. ey, for once think abt sch. tolak tepi keje. ey, din nya situation lagi terok dr ko. tapi dia dtg tau. he makes an effort. are u? ur parents are still supporting u. they are still there for u.

how bout din? do u even noe? how bout me? do u even think? ko nk kata pasal transport money?

do u know how sickening and bloody fuck moii life is. but ive never complaint. wat ive been thru is a world different from yours. Im 18, and i have a son to support. or shud i sae moi husband has to support 3 of us. even we dont have a house. his pay is never enuff for the 3 of us. compared to u. just transport fare! fuck. wat u take to sch? bus! shit man. its so expensive. woow! sumhow i think im taking the same transport as u. and i pay 50cents for every ride. but sumtimes i do take mrt too. so, where's the difference? ohh.. mayb the concession part. hah. wanna why i dun take concession because i dun wan to waste 20 over dollars but only use half of the time only. its a waste isnt it? hmm... no ones life is free from problems. " IF TODAY IS ALREADY PERFECT THAN THERE'S NO USE FOR TOMMOROW." think maturely haz. u want me to treat u like a kid? or a baby? keep nagging at u? pleash stop all this shit la.

dun be selfish and strong headed egoist. people gives u advice but wat u do wit it? take and throw it. im here talking as a friend. u dun make me treat u like A SON. u dun test me haz. dun wait until its too late.

for now, u can give all the reasons and watsoever. but when u have probs like mine. a path tad u can never get out and only u, urself CAN and HAVE to save ur fucking sorry ass than u'll noe. u dunno wat is called "bad". been there, done tad haz. u may nt believe wat i say. but tis is the beginning of being "bad". ferst you forget sch. after that.. evrytink. i went thru it b4 u did. and if u realli want to save ur sorry ass. u better change for the betta. u dun care abt urself but we do. try to think wat we are trying to sae. put it in ur bloody head. degil biar bertempat hazreel. for sch...? dun be STUPID.

u can never rewind u noe. do u tink wat u're doing is correct? haha. look at urself in the mirror. and realise ur mistakes la dummy. im sick and tired of nagging. i never want to nag but u are getting WORSE. and u still wanna be strong headed?? haha. u idiot fool. u think u can handle everytink urself. u tink tad u can run ur own life. tink again. u still young. still immature. im not trying to be rude but u tink tad "its ur life, u rule over it." haha. make me laff. make everybody laff. u tink tis is wats best for u. slack in ur studies. dun tink ITE is not strict, u can take it for granted. hmmm... well, tad's wat u tink. i dun even think.. tad u have the initiative to think. probably u never even think. damn. yea.. u never think. tads y ur nick name is "brainless"... sorie la haz..

im not trying to be a bitch here... but im trying to make u see. and hopefully u get the message wat all of us intentions are. YOU'RE SLACKING. and u still think u r doing the right thing. well done haz! hah. when will u wake up. ya.. probably u think that everytime u have a point, we wont believe u. its not tad we dun believe u but u need to compromise. think think think think.. and think haz... everyone has probs but we are trying our best to settle things. it has never affected our studies. it doesnt even have anytink to do wit sch. never mix 2 things togeda. argh! fucked up sia u. cb. fed up sial. just think thru carefully la. make ur choice...........

ohh yea.. and did i tell u that because of moii fucking mistake i made in moii life. i made everybody else around me suffer. all because of me. now.... why do u think i wanna change??? duh~~!! "I DUN WAN TO UPSET PPLE I THAT I LOVE ANYMORE."

well.. i guess u probably dun even understand either. mayb cos u're still immature? hah.....

2008-11-08T12:47:00.000+08:00

i dun get it u noe... wat life realli means to all of u. mayb ur life wasnt soo shity like mine. and u still dunno how to appreciate it. it true we live once and tat we shud enjoy it. ya ya.... enjoy la.. at the end of the dae. u will regret it u noe. life is short. too short to "enjoy". making mistakes in life will make u a better prsn. yes.. but if its too late to turn back.. then how? how ur gona face it. u noe.. how it feels.. when once u were soo bad. alwaes making everybody think soo low abt u. alwaes dissing u. and scolding u. for things u've did. and when one day u changed and made everyone hapie and making them b soo proud of u. do u noe how tad feels..? an achievement u noe. knowing that u've made them proud of u. and that they noe u have turn to sumone better. but when u tot life was geting better.. every change. and everytime u have tad hope to move on and fite thru the storm. it just gets worse and worse. how will u face it now? life mayb b fun for sumtime. but its just temporary. the moments of happiness and hope is just for awhile. there's anytink soo good alwaes. even frens... frens will be there for now. but once ur have ur own life. they cant help u anymore. its all on ur own u noe. notink alwaes go ur way. it may alwaes change.

and haz.. yes.. i mad at u. thx fer letting me be the last one to noe. and i just wan u to be ok.. dun get urself in trouble. im just concern. wats life outsyde. it can b very dirty....

2008-11-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

well.. back to this bloody house. bored wit her attitude. fuck. i dun giv a damn. she's not moii problem. im back here bcos of u noe who. and anywaes..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!

sadly to say.. his birthday happens to have this stupid quarrel and silent treatment. but no matter.. it doesnt bother hym abit. mayb he just got used to it. u noe. he never realli like staying here. so... yea.. mayb its jus normal. anywaes forget abt it.. now waiting for the cake. she said b4 2pm. well, hopefully soon.. so i can get out for this bloody house. sick and tired of staying in this house. damn old woman. haiish.. sway u noe. got her as a mother in law. cb. nvm. dun bother. let her be. i'll jus giv her the silent treatment and that can realli make pple angry ryte? hahaha. coolness. damn cake.. whr is it. hmm... borink la. ey.. btw.. 2 prsn noticed and told me that i put on weight!! damn sehh. wat did i eat?? shit. sad sehh.. now starving moiiself. hahs. not realli la. just not hungry. tad's all.

hmmm.... dunno wat else to say.. mayb later get to drink abit. for certain occasions only. its been soo long since i drank. mayb later will get to drink. but it not confirm la. but surely can smoke la. hahas. ok2. mayb i just wann chill and watch tv awhile. bored. hmm.. toodles.

ohh yea... btw.. High School Musical 3 was... WOW! i cried sehh.. from the start till the end. boohoo. but it was fantastic.. shud watch it again u noe.. but very sad la. the feeling of losing ur great buddies in high school.. hmm.. sad. seriously. k la.. buhbye.

2008-10-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.. realli bored with life u noe. sumtimes i feel like i just wanna explode. im not stress, just feeling so sick of life. but wat is life without problems. but mayb it is not a problem. its just tad she is being such a PEST. i dunno wat's her problem. alwaes getting in our nerves. u are old already u noe. u dun hav to react like tis. day by day.. u are just trying to get the attention. pls la. i noe ure bored with life. but u dun have to alwaes blame my husband for everytink he does or he doesnt. try looking urself in the mirror.. ure not perfect either. u've made mistakes too. wat kind of mother wud be soo unfair to ur own children. Eddy may not be a soo good boy. but he has that heart that none of ur other 2 children have. u may not see it bcos its all ur fault tad he has bcome like this. u made hym feel soo left out in the family that turn hym into sumone so stubborn. so rude. with no feeling of pitiful for others. atleast nw he change. ALOT. and even that u cant see. u are soo blinded by MONEY that this one son of urs who has alwaes been a loner nvr complaint abt u being soo unfair. its only bcos of 'ayah' im still staying wit u under one roof. if not for hym.. i wud have long gone. moii mom treats me better than u do.

im slowly developing this hatred towards u. bit by bit all of ur mistakes, the hurting words that came out from ur mouth.. slowly digs up the patience in me. sumhow i just have this bad feeling moii patience wont last soo long. i will sumhow explode like a volcano. u made me be like this. even moii respect for u has realli fade. i dun care wat u gonna sae to pple. i dun give a shit. why shud i be good if im not just bcos i wanna win ur heart. im not tad kind of person. im bad i show it. im not sum bloody bitch like shikin to pretend im good all those stuff but actuallie devil in disguise. u dun like the way i am. than tad's ur problem. i like the wae i am and im sticking wit it. moii attitude may suck but its only bcos u've made me feel and act tis way towards u. afterall, revenge is sweet. i may not do it obviously but i can make u feel the pain and make u suffer bit by bit. u gave me a hard time. i'll give u a hard time as well. i will make fee soo fucked up that ur blood pressure goes higher. haha. hatred is a dangerous thing u noe. just watch out.

anywaes.. forget moii fucking mother in law. i wanna talk abt wats coming. eddy's bdae is coming and hiss present is still not wrap yet. hmm... ive bought the wrapping paper. bbut lazie wanna wrap it la. sumhow i feel soo tired. i wish things wudnt b soo complicated. fine la. forget it. just try to calm down.. haiish. tmr have to see her face again. bloody shit uh.

2008-10-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

well... got the things for baby.. hahas. sooo hapie me.. but i feel like not enuff seh.. but......... dun spend too much.. later he'll get angry.. k la. anywae.. i got for hym.. a pair of timberland shoe, an agnis b. key pouch cum wallet, a belt, a cute bear holding a heart written "love u loads", a card of cos la... box short. and sumtink for the bike.. hahas. k la.. not much spent.

anywae.. actuallie i have notink much to say u noe... hahas. borink la sehh... life nowadays soo busy... like i alwaes sae.. so much to do.. so little time. hmmm....

u noe sumtimes i tink.. when u love that sumone sooo much.. u just dun realli care wat or how much u spend on that 1 thing. just as long it makes hym look good and u like it.. i makes u feel soo hapie abt it. but the prob is now... i dun no wat u wryte on the card.... ahhhh~!! true that i hv one more week to go.. but... i like have notink to realli sae u noe.. like u're married. u see hym everydae.. and u already get that endless love wat else can u asked for... and u already have that trust he loves u more than anytink else. then.... ? wat to sae la.... fed up sehh... haiiyo...

now helping hazreel also... wahh~~!! boring sehh... lots to think abt.. hmmm... but at last got sumtink to sae. hahs. kk.. wanna log out rdy la... toodles.

2008-10-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

hmm... baby's bdae is coming... wat shud i get for hym... i usually know wat to do.. but now.. i dunno. cos most of the stuffx he has it already. then how??? ahhhh.... borink la think think think. i actuallie tot changing moii idea of the hamper to a box.. but the prob is.. wat stuffx shud i buy to put insyde. shudnt be too big.. but not too small either. hate it la.. cannot think. ahhhh...~~!!!

2008-10-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

hihi.. done renovating moii BLOG.. hmm... very simple ryte? hahas. dun bother ready la. as long it look nice and with moii favourite colours. hahas. kk.. upgraded moii plan already. finally. hahas. then had to take iPhone. cos most of the phones at singtel i have or i've used it already. sooo... borink.... just for fun take iPhone la. if dun like keep la.. ryte? lousy u noe. hmm.. idiot APPLE. seriously, dun buy iPhone. regrets. anywaes.. school has been really tough u noe. Life too.
sickening. no life is without probs ryte? ya.. sooo... not really stress la. just cant be bothered. tad's y. hahas. i actuallie wanted to update photos but.... i forgot to bring moii cable.. haiish.. idiot kan.. LOL. anywae.. im at moii mom's place. tired of eddy's mom. soo.. im here.. she's sooooo irritating tau... menyampah!!~ biarlah.. da tua pun.

school really alot of things to do now u noe. i really need to study hard sehh. dun play around. but im still playing around.. haiiyo. HAFIS la. alwaes disturbing me. bodo btol. hahas. alot of things to do. but soo little time. have to tink about moii car practical summore. i realli wanna finish it asap. ya.... then just reopen school.. already have projects.. haiish.. have to pass it up by next month fast huh... haiish.. borink la.. but ive done some. just wanna pass it to kumar.. see how well ive done it. well.. kumar knows it better ryte. 4 pointer u noe. hahs. kay la... probably tad's i wanna sae. kay.. chaos.

2008-10-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

klu ada pape rosak or tk btol pat blog aku. uat bodo. aku mls nk change ok. mayb next time. bye.

2008-10-03T00:30:00.000+08:00

well... 1st dae of raya yesterdae was abit different from last year. like last year me, waidi and eddy, went to meet up with moii mom. but this year, i went to hougang to eddy's grandma's house ferst. then moii grandpa. after all the 'jln raya'.... ended moii day at moii mom's place. and sleep there. wooah.. eventho there was only 2 houses but the feeling.. wahhh... so tired la... dunno y. mayb tmr goink raya. but im not sure yet. cos moii baju coming at nyte. how uh? i still deciding. hmm... anywaes.. pass moii exams. but not very good la. can do betta... next semester then.
im not soo sure whether i can go for the trip to hk.

hmm.... but mayb i'll try to go for it. hmm... yea. just try. ' tk dpt tkpe la.' hahas. im sleepy la sehh. but i dun feel like sleeping. duno y. im feeling alittle hungry la sehh... hahas. feeling like wanna chew sumtink. and yea.. Hazreel and Man planning to 'jln raya' nxt week. but... an they tot of renting a mini bus or sumtink. so.... if they gonna rent the mini bus... im bringing waidi la.. cos if not.. i cant go soo far with waidi u noe... wanna 'jln raya' sumore. and all of us dun stay soo near u noe. we are spread all around singapore u noe. it'll be tiring la... but i'll try bringing hym... see how.

k la.. wanna chill2 la.. hahas. think about tmr. here's the pic for yesterdae. enjoy! hahas.

`waidi and cousins.

`busy eating la.... =)

`eu... want some?

`do u tink sumdae i can be a model? haha. yucks!

`Waidi taking pic with Mama N Ayah.

`The Familie.

`Another pic of us again........

`This car is good! Eu shud try it mans...... hehes.

`ii cornering la.. dun disturb pleash...

Tad's all folks~! teehee.. nytes...

2008-09-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

haiish... Hari raya coming la seh.. in jus afew hours. and it's already Raya. hmm... fast huh? i didnt realli feel the fasting month. its like soo fast that it was only like 2weeks u noe. i bored actuallie. hahs. k la. notink much to say la. hmmm.................................................................

Selamat Hari Raya to All.

2008-09-26T12:44:00.000+08:00

well.... just to tell everyone.. that i wont be updating for sumtime. and im goink back tamp todae. and i wont be bringing moii laptop. im keeping it in moii locker. its heavy la. eventho its small u noe. it takes all the weight. im taking mrt and i dun wanna bring alot of stuff either. wont be so lonng there. i mean Hari raya is coming ryte? i have to clean up the house. u noe..... haiish.. lazie sehh. hmmm..... and yea... i got a new bike. i mean eddy got me the GT bike.. but its to high for me. and moii butt hurts that i have to stretch moii leg all the wae to the ground. hahs. so... ytd after moii court. there was a bicycle shop nearby there. soo we went to check it out.. and eddy choose for me a 17" body. for moii size. woohoo~~! yea.. forgot to tell u how it went in court. well.. like wat sam told me. i told the judge. that... "i have a son and moii husband is the only one working to support me study. and i asked for a lighter fine." The Jugde replied immediately, " Fine $100." cool huh? hahs. but the part that realli made me soo worried was.. moii son.. he was crying out " Mama! Mama!" argh.. that feeling.. i cnt describe. like it was soo sad to leave hym outsyd wit eddy. since babies are not allowed insyde. hearing his voice.. all i wanted to do was to be outside with hym. sad sehh.. haiish..

but everytink's fine now. just dont make another mistake anymore. hmm.. hopefully. but i promised waidi yesterdae. that we wont come back there ever again. and i will make sure he wont go there too in the future. i realli hope i can do that. hmm... kay la.. have to go West Mall. wanna get sumtink before goink to tamp later. toodles.

2008-09-25T02:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.... wondering why im sighing.. well. as u can see.. moii court is in a few hours time. an i just cant sleep. that feeling is like shit u noe.. then u'll start tinking all those horrible things. haiish.. scary la sehh.. all im tinking about is waidi. no one else. he is the most important person in moii life. haiish... i cant stop blaming moiiself u noe.. hari raya is coming and everybody is busy wit cleaning up the house and everyting and here i am. tinking of sumting soo bad.. hopefully its notink. i just have to pay fine. argh....................... the feeling.... OMG... fed up u noe. have to go feeling like this. why did i do this stupid ting. now look wat i've done. i've made a big problem. pray hard that everytink will be ok. =S

"waidi.. help mama pls. give me hope and luck. hmm...."

2008-09-23T13:57:00.000+08:00

hApie biRthdAe tO aNoNymOus!

hmm.. =( he's probably already moving on with life. with his "beloved" gerlfwen. hahas. who doesnt know how to understand hym.. hmm.... ok2 wadeva. got a msg frm ITE.. and it says. "The HK-VTC exchange program is now open for students to apply. Fr 02 Feb 09 to 22 Feb 09. Fillup form (fr Kumaran) & submit by 18 Oct 08."

sounds so fun huh... haiish.. i dunno whether i wanna go or not. Man says there will be an interview and have to see oour results and everytink. hmm... results..? ok then.. i'll make moii decision by then la.. since moii results in on the 2nd of oct. till then i wont make any decision yet. haiish.. k la.

i've booked 2 session of practice before moii BTT in 2 weeks time. hmm.. hopefully i can make it. But Nad said BTT is chicken feet. soo, probably i can pass BTT then can go on wit FTT. =) The faster the better i hope. i realli wana pass tis. and quickly get moii license. then i can drive moii way around. it's easier that way ryte. i wana show others i can be worthy too. and change moii past. how i was last time an now. i wan them to see i've change. i'm sure ive change. i may have made a small mistake last June. but i dun tink i wanna make another stupid mistake again. tink twice before doing anytink stupid. =) i have high hopes on moiiself. i cannot let moiiself down.

goink cycling later wit waidi. hehes. borink la. gona bring hym around. but now waiting for hym to wake up. hahas. still sleeping, soo comfortably. hahs. wudnt wan to disturb hym.. teehee. k la. goink off now. bored la. chaos.

Merah Inai.mp3 - Dikir Temasek II

Wat the hell.. this song is ADDICTIVE u noe.. i cant stop singing and listening to this song. haiish.~!

2008-09-22T17:01:00.000+08:00

Merah Inai.mp3 - Dikir Temasek II

hm.. the song that started it all. how Eddy dreamt getting married to me. and here i am.. yes.. married to hym and happy wit hym. eventho we had our fites and wat so ever. but soo far.... it turns out pretty well... goink back later.. =( borink la.. i dun wanna go back.. i rather stay here than be there. i got no frens or anytink to do. hmph... borink la.. anywae.. i miisx the ol days with hym. u noe... marriage life and relationship life.. is soo much different... the relationship life is more sweet u noe.. cos probably u're afraid to lose them.. but now that u're stick to each other. u dun think of such ting u noe.. hahas. but this part of moii life is a more difficult step in life.. cos now i realise alot abt marriage life. u cant risking it. u dun wan it to be left wasted u noe.. if u undastand.. once u're MARRIED.. u wont want to just give up without doing anytink but boyfren-gerlfren.. u can just give it up cos u're not tied up to each other. u can jus break up and patch again ryte? marriage? its more complicated than that.. so no matter wat u still have to bear with all the obstacles u'll be facing. ok2.. stop talking about marriage and watever. probably u're sick and tired of listening to the same ol ting la...

so anywae.. moii court will be in a few days.. im feeling abit scare and mayb alittle impatient. cos.. i believe the faster the day goes and the faster the case closed. the better atleast u wont feel so anxious and scare u noe.. but i tink its just fine. notink like goink to jail or wat. soo ok.. have to withdraw the money soon.. haiish.. the feeling is like.. EXAM sia... like that feeling u never study and the exam's tomorrow that kind of ting... hahs. k la.. have to go.. update u again soon.. BTW! btt sooo slow sehh... haiiyo! i want to pass quickly u noe.. haiish.. MANN.... dun forget to call me uh!

2008-09-19T01:53:00.000+08:00

Look we gotta talk
Dang I know
I know it's just
It's just...
Some things I gotta get of my chest alright....
Yeahhhh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa...
Listen..

Baby come here and sit down, let's talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don't wanna see you cry
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so

[Hook]
How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand
'cause I know

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

Girl I know your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know

Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh [4x]
Do you hear me crying?
Oh, oh, oh [4x]

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
_

haiish.. u noe. everytime i listen to this song.. i felt like it was moii fault to hurt thee. was it realli moii fault? or was it thee fault? hmm... probably both. we were best of friends but i cudnt imagine that in the end this is wat happen to our friendship that we realli treasure. or probably I realli treasured. hmm... why did time fly so fast.. and that sumhow the mistakes we make never realli occured to us until we stop thru time. u noe.. now i wonder.. was i impatient to wait or i've had enuff of waiting... so many questions in moii life are still not answered and the answers are no where to be found. life lessons must be kept close to ur heart and mind. knowing that u've been thru things that u can never forget. never. cos u cannot make the same mistake twice. hmm.. sumtimes i tink back, moii life wasnt realli PERFECT. but the difference i felt now is that i tink its already perfect. Perfect as ever. I just need to maintain just the way it is. =)

Life was never better until he came into our life. He change everytink tad surrounds us..

He may not be "the good boy" but he bring the LIGHT to this life that i tot wasnt realli meaningful. Moii babyboi. Without hym.. i dont know what i'll be. He is the one giving me hope to carry on with moii life. =) He is Moii Hope.

geylang~

2008-09-17T01:37:00.000+08:00

went out wit moii classmates to geylang just now. yea.. hearing the word geylang seems like bored. it was kind of bored actuallie but after awhile i tink back.. the things around geylang mayb bored.. but u are not alwaes there with the same pple ryte? and not the same memories and experience u had. so.. actuallie its not that bored knowing that u actuallie spend a little time here and there with diff kinds of pple. u may nvr know.. in 5 yrs time... will these pple who are ur frens now will still be ur frens in the years to cum. or are they just ur ITE frens.. after that.. tad's it. Have u wonder abt it... hahas. but hopefully these frens of mine.. will still be my frens in the years to cum. hahas. just hopefully. i may alwaes be the only gerl among them but they make me smile all the time.. even though HAFIS is irritating and MAN too. but they're nice. LOL. jgn kembang...~ haha. notink much to sae la.. just tad.. todae is a dae to be remembered la.. we may not have time to spend like tis u noe.. school is school.. but outside its different. hahs. why am i talking rubbish... hahas. mayb just sleepy. haha.. kay la.. goink off now. toodles.
uploaded the pix guys. chao.

` nie kwn Amsy, Saufi. [correct spelling? lol]

` MAN, u look awful. haha.

` ey Man... PIC OF THE DAE. haha. i like this pic. lol.

lazie

2008-09-11T11:46:00.000+08:00

heyo... sumhow ive just gotten lazie to update. lots are happening and im getting frustrated. seriously.. fed up u noe. summore hari raya is comiing. and all the preparation la.. haiish. sumtimes i feel i dun wan to celebrate. troublesome la. need to make cookies la. get all that stuffs. urgh.. ok ok. yey! ive started moii holidays. and it will only reopen on the 13th of next month. great. a long break. they sae its 3 weeks but the teachers probably lazie wanna teach. "u can just go for a long break." haha. haiish.. need to go ikea later. find sumting to storage. haiish. lazie.................... i feel like i wanna rest for a long time. just relax.. u dun hav to tink of anytink. or do anytink. just taking a long break. it probably makes me feel better. moii body is already too tense. that's y all moii nerves are giving me problem. haiish. is moii body getting old or im not feeling well..? haiish.

i sumtimes tink.. i probably dun eat much tads y moii body is not working realli well.. hmm.... do u tink so? lol. ok ok. haiish. i sigh alot huh? yea.. i noe. got too much in moii mind. that's all. too many problems. i tink sumday i will die of stress.. lol. got such ting? hahaha. time is moving so slow sumtimes. when i want it to be fast. it goes slow. when i want it slow. it will go so fast. haiiyo... TEROK LA! kay. im bored. hahas. like man ytd. hahas. "who can entertain me i give u $2." lol. lame la u. haha. man,... BTT how??? decide the date ok.. tell me uh. dun forget. hahah.

My world is giving up

2008-09-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

Have u ever felt when it seems like the whole world is crumbling down? Have u ever felt like u are given up. Well... im goink thru it ryte now? I dunno why... I feel like there is no use im alive anymore. U noe.. I feel like everytink has given up on me. Even hope! Mayb it's a small mistake but i felt that the whole world was shaking when i got the news. I cud realli feel it and that i felt that everytink i was hoping for... wasnt real. It was just dreams. Dreams that i can never reached. Im bad.. I can never be good isnt it? It hurts me when i heard what she said about me. How cud she talk about me behind my back.. It didnt realli matter at ferst..But slowly it just seems to flow thru moi veins and straight to the heart. Now i felt the poison running thru me. Now i feel the pain. It's eating me up slowly. Bit by bit... U noe.. sumhow i dunno why i have to live to PLEASED pple. why? Im sick and tired of being so FAKE. And i have to be that "Ms Goody". Hah.. Who am i kidding? Moiself? LOL. I just give up Eddy. Give up.. I may not be the perfect "daughter-in-law". But i sure noe how to be moiself. Im not gonna put a masked on moii face anymore. I just wanna be me ok. That's final. Marriage? It's never easy. NEVER. There's alwaes mouths talking abt everytink u do. They just dont get enuff talking abt u... Haiish.. What have i done to get this kind of treatment.

Pitiful life ryte? Hah. Shud have tot abt it b4 getting married. Haiish.. Humans.. Two faced freaks. U were "good pple" when i ferst met u. But NOW.. I saw the devils of GOOD PPLE. Putting up a show.. Haha. How funny eh? But it's ok.. Time will tell. Who is the good one and who's the bad one... God is fair. He will show it one day. kay la. It's almost 3am. I better get sum sleep. Need to wake up in afew more hours. Toodles. Hope for me that I'm able to go further thru this life of mine. =}

Stressed!

2008-09-04T11:05:00.000+08:00

Haiish... i made a big mistake u noe. The dae will come. It's on the 25th of this month. i cant believe that i didnt use moii brain u noe. anywaes.. no point regreting aanymore. it happened. and now i have to face it. and i just tot tad moi life was changing. mayb i was wrong. i havent change. im stll me. look moiself in the mirror... can tis gerl looking right back at me.. change? can she. she's a mother to a child. a wife to a husband. but why isnt she changing? how long does tis fucking life of mine will change. will i change? tad's the question. will i? im big enuff alrdy but i cant seem to change. why not? do i wana be like moi cousins all. cocked up.. haiish.. hopefully not. i never learn from moi mistake. when will i learn.. hopefully this wil be the last mistake i'll make. FINAL. if i have to make another big mistake tad has sumtink to do with the government. i dun noe wat else to sae.. i probably just givee up on moi life. haiish.. i NEED to change!

Hopefully this 25th is notink serious. haiish. probably just fine. but i dunno how much.. haiish.. i feel like crying sehh.. i've alwaes been a failure. a disappointment. i've disappoint so many pple in moi life alrdy.. too much.. making everybody believing in me tad i can change. no one is to noe tis... especially not moi mother. she will freaked out. definitely... she trust tad ive changed. i have stick it tad way.. if not.. she wont trust me anymore. she wont.... i love her alot. its just tad i dont show it and i never realli told her tad. its moii mess.. i'll clean it up moiself. feeling soo down now.. i wish i cud be in school wit moii frens. but there's no afternoon class so i nvr went to school. haiish.. be optimistic... like wat Firman said. so... i have to be optimistic. have to... "Things will change. It just takes time ryte?... It just takes time."

-azimah.. no prob zimah.. things have change now ryte? hopefully la.. haha. anywAes.. if u need sumone to share ur probs.. im here ok. be strong beb. takecare.

just listen.

2008-08-30T11:43:00.000+08:00

Best wishes to moii gerlfren.. Azimah. She's gonna be declared married in just afew hours. Good luck beb. Hope that ur marriage will last long. Remember that now.. all u need is patience. And everytink will be ok. Just relax and be patience. Take good care of urself and familie. Especially Azroy ok... He means everytink to u... ok.

Anywaes.. Its so dark outside sehh.. Hopefully it doesnt rains. how to go azimah's wedding later if it rains.. haiish... if not.. i have to take cab.. hmm... dunno la.. need to wait for ulfa and fiza lagi... haiiyo... so tired sehh todae.. i dun even noe why.. notink much to sae la... got notink to update except for yesterdae.. we bought our teachers.. swensens cake.. and celebrate it in class. everyone got to taste a slice of ice cream cake.. then we went home. notink mmuch la.. took a ride in kumar's car. then all went to play CS. including me... hahs. da expert ckit tau.. haha. ok ok.. hafta go now. chaos.

reply moii taggies!!

2008-08-27T01:16:00.000+08:00

Firman- heyy... no probs. wat are frens for. u just chill ok. things will be ok. dun worry too much.

Hazreel- ko slow la.... bacin btol.. hahas. of course side korg la... frens mahh~

Zimah- ey goldfish... tkmu nk bising2 ko.. diam2. hahas. aku pun tk pegi sehh bunga api. haha. actuallie nk tgk.. abe tk jadi la.. so... tk pegi.. kay.. pape picit. abt tis sat.. dun forget to tell me ok. tc.

kumar- hahas. thx la kumar.. moii blog like shit also u sae nice.. hahas. kumar bored ryte? hahas.

just blogging.

2008-08-26T18:49:00.000+08:00

heyo!!~ didnt blog for two daes. haiish.. but notink much.. just as pernormal... shoppink... and shoppink... and school... so anywaes.. on sundae i actuallie wanted to blog but i was too tired that i went to sleep after i took moii shower. haiish.. penat gila.. me and mom all went to vivocity.. actuallie tot of just window shoppink. or just jalan2 la... but in the end it diddnt went as planned. haha. we shop until moii nets exceeded the limit. for sum of u... u shud how much i spent ryte? hahas. ok... da melampau la... but dun feel it... until u go counting how many bags u are holding on to. hahas. ok ok... then mondae... went to school as pernormal.
then accompanied Hazreel to buy stuffs at John Little at Northpoint. But sumhow... tis feets just cant get awae from that Bonia boutique. hahah. And so... i cudnt resist buy the bags. cos they were cheap. seriously... im not kidding. then went to royal sporting house.. Hazreel got a pair of shoes.. and sumhow as i was browsing around.. sumtink caught moii eyes..... woohoo~~! i saw a black adidas jacket... hahas. so nice!! i cudnt resist. hahs. its made of half polyester and half silk... cool ryte? tad's y i bought it. hahas.

ok ok.. stop about all the shoppenk ting... lets talk about... ohh yea... forgot to tell... moii small cutie wardrobe has arrived and fixed.. hahs. so... later go home.. just need to shift sum stuffs in. then finish... woohoo..~ after tad need i to wash moii clothes.. haiish.. lazie sehh.. hmm... now at mcd.. waiting for eddy to finish werk.. haishh.. now with man.. both playing our own comp... hahs. farnie ryte...?

Sam still having probs wit raden.. haiish.. sam... pls give up la... stop wasting ur time. i noe he is a good guy.... he is also moii fren but... till when u wanna suffer? am i ryte... dun bcos of one guy.. u are putting aside the whole world. u noe.. it doesnt mean.. when u get used to tad one person... u only need to revolve only around hym... he is not everytink u noe... sam... ur obsession with raden is getting worse and out of hand. pls sam... tink wisely.... dun spoil ur self bcos of hym... ok.. takecare la gerl... pls....

im early.

2008-08-24T10:06:00.000+08:00

hahas. its the ferst post i made in the morning. as in i woke up early annd log in at 10 in the morning. get it? haha. anywaes.. i just wanna tok about moii dearest frens.. Man N Hazreel. Guys.. i know how much u guys are hurt by these "gerls". but that is not the end u noe.. pple makes mistake to find the right one. these gerls mayb no be the one for u. but sumday there will be tad gerl. dun be too disappointed... they may the one who hurts u now. u may never know, there will sumbody else out there to hurt them more badly then wat she did to u. sum gerls are sweet at the beginning.. how bout afterwards? u guys werent prepare for it. ryte? hahas. well.. u shud have. cos if the gerls come to u in a sweet way.. tad means someting fishy is gonna happen. ok. usually the ferst impression of the gerl is very important.. if they're acting like soo good. that means its not her true self. but if she is being her... tad's a good start. ok... so choose them wisely.. sum gerls are just devils insyde. they want ur money. even tho im a gerl.. i cant fight for women if there are pple like this.. u noe. its not just guys but gerls got hurt too.. and its just the same thing. move on wit life.. look forward and forget wat had happen. mayb then this will make u feel betta. ive gone thru alot in life. and i learn it the hard way... how do i noe the guy is good. u need to trust ur instinct. tad's important. so.. to find that one person.. u have to go thru life the hard way then u will learn.. these are just test to make u stronger and wanna see how u take it thru ur life. so.. the most important thing.. is patience.

Soo moii dearest frens.. rilek.. chill... do wat u like to do most.. forget about them.. be optimistic la.. u will find ur way out of that "heartbroken world". ok. takecare dudes. and if u guys need sumone.. im here. aights?? toodles.

went to giant and ikea.

2008-08-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

wOah~~!! shOp like hell at giant.. but ferst ting ferst... went to ikea to find tis so called "locker". for moii house at bukitbatok... make it more nicer.. and stop waidi from taking out all his stuff frm the cabinet... just got tad and afew rugs. tad's all.. but at giant..fuuhyoo~~! i spent 369.86. OMG~!! i dun even know wat i bought. hahas. all food. of cos i paid for moii mom too la... so... got all the food to stuff ourselves for the whole month. hahs. jus kidding. mayb abt 2 weeks or so.... loads of chocolate of cos... hahs. then.. of cos moii HL milk. and ice cream.. and cheese.. and snacks.. and of cos waidi's stuff la... pampers and all.. alot sehh... haha... can eat and eat and eat... haha.. ok la.. tad's all.. notink left to sae... except.. to Man and Hazreel... stop tinking abt those gerls.. ok... there's alwaes others.... just have to find.... slowly la... tings will be clearer.. gerls are hard to undastand. ok.. even i moiiself.. dun undastand moiiself. so.. rilek ok.... takecare.

hmmm

2008-08-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

well.. yesterdae.. or shud i sae thursdae.. went for the basci theory lesson. OMG.. u noe wat... it's all common sense. hmph.. why do i even waste moii time and money. but ok la... haiish.. nxt wk practice and evaluation. haiish.. do u tink i can pass..? hopefully ya... hahs. got eddy a new phone. Sony Ericson W760? i tink la.. vewie nice colour. got a little gold here and there. hahs... notink much la... now moi mom's place. hmm.. bored la... now watching hockey at SCV. borink la.. i dun like hockey mahh.. hahas. ok2... i sleepink soon... hmm... mayb tmr gonna see fireworks. but i need to go to ikea get sometink. then like i mixed up la... wanna go shoppenk.. but haiyo.. duno la.. got so many to tink uh... summoe hari raya coming. haiish.... borink la. duit burn. haha. just got no school. hmmm.. sumhow i misx school... or is it i misx moii frens... hmm??? hahs.. ok mayb both. k la.. wanna sleep la. dunno wat else wana write about. toodles.

soo... the day goes by...

2008-08-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

atlast... i've enrol moiiself for the driving license. hmm.... went wif Man. Like bodo tau just now. hahas. but ok la.. i've overcome a step. now more steps ahead.. hahs. tmrw got basic theory lesson both 1.01 and 1.02.. then next tuesday got basic theory practice then wednesday.... got evaluation... haiish.. must pass uh.. if not.. have to retake before oct.. for moii test.. then go for moii final test.. from there can start the prac... haiish... it'll take awhile to get this done with... hopefully before moii 19th birthdae. hahas. hopefully la... i know i can do it... im sure of it.. i wanna prove to those pple who tink i still cant make a difference and change moiiself... well.. u're wrong.. i dun nid u pple. moii mom no nid u pple... she can depend on me... i'll bring her around. it's ok... i can make it... i know it.. i'll make a diferrence. with eddy and waidi by moii self.. i have hope and perseverance to succeed and overcome all tish... they're moii hope. i'm not giving up on them... =) k la.. gtg.. tmrw got AD test. haiish.. i got no calculator and i nvr study.. hmm.. how? hopefully i wont be late la...

wOohOo~

2008-08-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

yey!... hahas.. got the broadband...! hehes. now can go online anytime, anywhr.. hehes. anywaes... skool.. as pernormal... notink much.. hmm.. i still havent upload the pix from tad dae.. i dunno y... e blogger says cannot. y uh? nvm.. i'll try again after tis update..

reply:
shaq: hey babes! i was here! (: waidi sumpah cute giler! tc ok (:
shaq: oh aku lupe, hiesy belated birthday!
zaza: hahas.. thx shaq. waidi cute mcm mak dia la.. hahaha! tc.

aishah: found ur link. link me aites (: btw happy belated bdae aites !
zaza: hahs.. found me?!! teehee. okies.. i linked u. btw.. thx.

amsy:zaaaaaa kau shopping mcm beli kueh sey zaaaa.....
zaza: diam uh amsy... kuang ajar ehk.. u're lucky.. u wasnt there la.. hahs. klu tk kena tolong angkat brang... haha. =P

fiqah/dila: yo! abe tk treat kite? hmphh . hehe . anw tagged!
zaza: mcmne nk treat..? tiap kali ajak klua.. tknk ikot... =P rugi sendiri.. hahas.

ella: hello ! link aku okay ? btw, anak ko cute giler oi ! tc babe .
zaza: hie.. okies.. aku link ko.. anak aku kan mcm aku... cute! hahahs. tc too.

iman: linked!tc old fren.
zaza: okies man... u tc too old fren...!!! *winks.

still cannot leii...
mayb its moii comp la..
toodles... i sleepy rdy...
cannot tahan rdy.. hahs.

the pix.

2008-08-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

These were the photos i wanted to upload...

Photos of me, moii mom and babyboii.

Pix of moii classmates.

Photos of me and moii frens.

At Swensens with Sam.

the rest all i'll upload it again la.. sumtink wrong la... i tink moii modem la.. slow... haiish...

heyo...

2008-08-17T01:15:00.000+08:00

back from shoppenk sand eating and having fun. enjoyingg moiiself.. woohoo! hahas. shop and shop la... teehee. gerek! i bought loads of stuff for tis whole week. hahas. got and new hp AGAIN... and gotten a new camera.. a laptop. clothes. lots and lots of them. waidi's the most.. got hym a Polo, DKNY and Guess. then got hym a pair of Le coq's shoes. got hym shades. hahas. got hym a cap. hmm.. i tink tons of stuffx. i cant even rmbr most off it. hahas. gotten moii handbag already. a wallet. a make up bag. still i need to buy a watch.. hmm.. i tink tad's all. hmm.... ohh yea.. a shirt for esprit. didnt get to try it on just now. hmph. all bcos of eddy. haiish. ok2 anywae... after all that tiring dae of shoppenk we chill out at Arab St to smoke syeesha.. hahas. i dunno how to spell it. ook la... anywae.. actuallie we tot of taking the hot air balloon. but we sumhow change our plan. hmm...

ohh yea.. forgotten to update that eddy got me a handbag from adidas for moii bdae present. hahas. i still wanna buy a photo printer. it onli cost $199. cheap ryte? hehes. im gonna get it... soon... *grins. haiish.. sumhow i dunno wat to spend on moiiself. haiish.. hahs. notink else i tink. still need to get a psp. and mayb ps3. we'll see la...

ok la.. enuff blabbering wat i wanna buy.. i'll tell u more about just now.
well... we were suppose to meet 2.30. orchard mrt. but ended up firmnan was the ferst to arrived. pity. no fren. all of us were late. hahs. anywae... after tad all.. followed me to TAKA. then we met hazreel at Tommy Hilfiger shop. and we went off to Paragon. made a few turns around the shoppenk center. then we went off to heeran. got the stuffx i wanted. then we straight awae go to bugis. have our dinner there. Hazreel treat us. woohoo~!! hahs. ok then.. went off to bugis street.. after awhile... me and Man tot that bugis street was not our kinda of place.. so we split awhile with hazreel and sid and went back to bugis junction. hahas. got moiiself a pair of heels again! hahas. cool uh.. but actuallie i was suppose to find a watch. but its ok. there's alwaes nxt time. heh. then meet them back and went for syeesha. then we went off at 10. gotten a cab at the bugis area.. and went back with hazreel. haiish. now.. dead tired sia.. but ok la.. i enjoyed moiiself. eventho our outing were suppose to be more pple but i had fun. thx guys for the great outing. sumdae we'll go again uh!!! hahas. ok la.. logging out. toodles.

heyy peeps.. sowie abt tis.. i cudnt get 2 upload the pix. antink i'll do it again tmrw. ntyes.

heylo...

2008-08-16T13:09:00.000+08:00

well.. just reached tamp. haiish. penat sehh. fall a sleep in the cab just now. it was usually waidi but todae it was me. tkleh tahan la.. i woke up at 7. and havent took a nap until then. hahas. later meeting moii frens, but amsy and hazreel will be late. since the ferst band hasnt arrived yet. rabak. spoil our plan la. anywae.. eddy asked me to buy stem for his bike. hmm.. i scared i buy wrong tings. haiish. anywae.. gtg. i'll update again later. toodles.

moii bdae

2008-08-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

This 18th bdae was the best one ever. A big surprise for me... =) atlast...
after months or shud i sae almost a year. we've been planning to have a gathering
and i got it on moii bdae!! wEe~! soo great. aanywaes.. fiza and shakila bought me a cake. i didnt mind if the rest of u guys never gave me anytink. i understand. just having u guys to celebrate moii bdae.. its enuff..! i never tot it wud to reali felt like a bdae.. tis year it was never planned. and it when out perfectly. =) thx gerls. u made me feel so happie that i cud nvr forget wat we did on tad very dae. how sweet. i misx those times. wish i cud turn back time. things have change alot now huh. boring la. but we're still us. just abit more mature gerls. hahas.

mayb we shud seldom meet. then probably tis like will repeat again. =) hahas. nehh.. impossible.. heyy.. how bout we meet again on the 23rd or sumtink... b4 puasa. and we can celebrate fiza's belated bdae... hmmm... i duno if it will turn out.. but at tis point.. it wont. cos i've already planned it earlier. impossible to happen. anywaes.. azimah is getting married..!! wEeEe~! hehe.. goodluck beb to building a new life.. hopefully everytink will be fine after the marriage. insyaallah. =) anywaes... tmr im goink out wit moii classmates and sam. hahas. sam sebok ehk? hahs. tkla.. i asked to follow. ok la tu...

just now was moii phase test for AGM.. haiish.. i tink.. i clock up. hm... dunno la. hopefully not. i tried moii best.. i tink i can make it. =) LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

hmmm.... hahas... am i in love? hahas. nehh... urmm... mayb.. fell in love AGAIN... with the same guy!! hahas. I felt that wat ive done for tis relationship paid off! pHew..~ hahahs. eddy treats me betta now. *winks. the guy i use to know. happie gila. hahas.. aku yg gila... hahas. ok2.. i tink i shud log out and update later abt the outing for later since its already past 12am. so.... i tink i shud get moii sleep. hahas. have to wake up early!! babyboii got check up. *smiles. hahas. ok then. toodles..~

and more la.... the rest all i upload it in frenster la... ok.

wat a dae.

2008-08-08T17:21:00.000+08:00

School was ok la. Moii class had a street soccer match
and sumhow we got thru the finals.. hahs. but we got 2nd.
but its good enuff. =) they11q put alot of effort. and after
the match they were exhausted. poor ting. and i WAS the
noisiest person. hahas. but im proud of moii classmates la.
even we are younger than most of the players that took part.
our class went to the finals. AMAZING. probably moii
classmates are good soccer players. hahas. anywae...

moii birthdae is coming.. wee~! 3 more days. how i wish
it cud be faster. but i dun feel like i wana be 18. hmm..
weird doesnt it..? i've alwaes wanted to reach this age..
and finally the dae is coming.. i dun even wana reach this age.
i wonder why? hmm.. any answers peeps?............
i may not realli celebrate another year of moii birthdae
wit eddy. but its ok la. last year.... i understand. this year?
its alrite. i dun have to go clubbing to find life "happening".
i dun need presents to called the dae "my birthdae". just having
the people i love and care to just be with me. i'm already
feeling great. atleast no one forgets it.. tad's fine la. hahas.

you noe... sumtimes when i tink about the past.
u just wanna go backwards. hahas. it was fun.. and sweet.
but as we grew older we realised the obligations we will have to
faced. alot.... =) haiish. borink la... jusft mixing those time
i spent we moii besties. ok la. so.......... tmrow is
as u noe. it's NATIONAL DAY. wah~! borink jek.. anywae..
mayb tmrow got gathering. duno la. still not confirm yet.
so see how la.. mayb goink. mayb not. cos its packed.. for sure.
i'll have a difficult time with waidi. tkpe. go home take
cab la.. hermm? xpensive sehh. hahs. see how la.

k la.. k la... goink off now. toodles. have a happy holidae...!

unforgotten.

2008-08-02T10:49:00.000+08:00

he just cant stop hurting me. he did it again last nyte.
i duno wats wrong wit hym anymore. i dun tink i wana go
back bukitbatok. i just wana stay somewhr. without hym.

and just now he msged me he miss waidi and later at 9.30pm
be at the void deck. so i said.. ok i'll send waidi...
but i know im not goink home. i just feel like....
i dun even know wat i tink anymore.
i feel like the world around me has turn cold and dark.
like all the happiness has gone away. how can all tis
happen..? did i made the right choice to love u and
married u. i sumhow already feeling regrets.
mayb i made a mistake to even tink that u are the one
for me. but its to late isnt it? i dun tink i
want to split waidi bcos of us. or shud i say
bcos of u.

enuff said. its enuff.

nice one.

2008-08-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

well.. even i was late for school just now..
i still went.. cos im not gonna stay at home..
it'll just make me feel worse. doesnt it...
anywae.. it was also partly moii mom's fault too..
if she hadnt been a big mouth to call eddy..
notink like tish wud happen.. sucks man..
haiish... wat luck.. urgh~ forget it.

i wanna talk wat happen at school la.....
never felt betta goink to school.. atleast i have great
frens.. who wud be caring and consent for me..
betta than eddy.. who doesnt even how i feel...
atleast there are other guys out there who treat me
betta than hym.. thx guys.... for cheering me up..
atleast i felt betta.. much much betta...

even kecik made moii dae.. just being tad irritating
made me laff.. hahas. haiish.. if only eddy knows how
to even treat me tad way.. i cant remember when was the
last time u even irritated me or made me laff.. or even
doing sumting sweet for me.. ohh... mayb like...
2yrs ago! tad was the ferst and the last birthdae tad u made
me happie.. how bout now? none. last year.....? notink..
and tis year... still notink.. mayb i have live on moii
life being soo bored with you...

dEarest eDdy,

Things were great when we were together last time.
The things u would do for me or even saying things
that would make laugh so hard. I somehow never saw that
again after i gotten pregnant. You totally treat me differently.
During that 1 year together.. It was sOo sweet. We've
never quarrel or even misunderstood about each other.
It was always lovely. How i wish i could turn back time.
Somehow i couldnt remember what has made you change
drastically. Now that you've changed soo much..
Has made me so numb that i've just given up on us.
Now i feel that there's nothing more i want to do
to make us back together. It's you're turn now.
I've done so much, and i wasnt appreciated.
Why not you're try how it feels when you do something
for that someone you alot and ended up he repeatedly did it
again and again. You'll probably given up sooner than me.
But there's this thing which hold me back to let you go long
time ago. Love. I hate how much i love you. I could never let
go then. But now all i want to do is to let you go.
Probably the love had fade you know. Or probably I've given
up on you. And to think what my teacher taught me was true.
Dont ever let someone give up on you cause it
wont be that easy to earn it back. Maybe you need to learn
the hard way eddy. You were my baby but im not sure
who are to me already. Maybe nobody. It will be nobody
if you dont come and make it better. Its all up to you now.
I wont come back until you make us get back together.
Your choice eddy. Im not going to do anything anymore.
Good luck eddy.

tears.

2008-08-01T00:40:00.000+08:00

well.. 10 more daes till moii birthdae..
and wat i get from eddy again..
quarrels..! fuck isnt it..? heyy.. u said
u were bz on moii birthdae ryte? ok la..
u hurt me once.. and nw again..
wat else u want.. make me kill moiiself.
im sick and tired of all tis child's play la eddy.
i got no time wanna go pujok u and everytink la.
u never had tad time for me.. so shud i even waste
any of moii time for u. ok la.. fair treatment
isnt it? u wanna play tis fucking game..
why not.. i can play it too.. a game called...
"hard to get".. hah! if you're expecting me
come and console u and everytink.. its too late
already.. ive had enuff. i've alwaes been the one
who gives in.. its time u learn wat does it means
giving in..

i wasnt tis bad la.. until i knew u.. hah!
u never seemed to "amazed" me with ur pathetic attitude.
thanks la for all tis pain you've caused me. its
really enjoying... u never change.. still tad
bloody attitude.. how much u've hurt me.. u never
even knew.. i was such a good actor u noe..
maybe i cud try for Suria or sumtink.
sumhow... the werld around me notice it
but YOU...? sumone whom i expected
more from.. gave me tis shit. i dun understand y...
y u... of all people... its u... i tot i found sumtink
in u.. mayb i expected too much from u.. tad i
probably tink tad mayb u're not the one for me anymore.
but Sammi told me tad.. "Dont ever quarrel
with sumone until u feel regret knowing hym."

I dun wat else u want me to do... ive been soo nice..
so good.. so patience wit u... but i duno wat makes u dun see
tad ive sacrifice soo much for us... tad u dun even wanna
celebrate moii birthdae wit me.. tads one ting..
another ting is u dun seemed to be the guy i
used to know already. u've changed..
no more sweetness in our relationship..
its like after marriage u left tad behind.
u didnt take it wit u... u tend to be more
serious and grouchy.. alwaes getting in bad moods..
and serious talks.. im bored wit all tad..
i know you have responsibility.. i have it too..
but why cant we have a little fun along the wae..
u never tot abt tad.. im still young.. and im turning
18 soon... and all i get is stress, headaches and
heartaches.. u will never be nice..
no matter how many chance i gave u... and still..
notink has changed in u.. just more bad attitude.

enuff is enuff la eddy... i cant alwaes keep
reminding u.. u need to change.. almost 3years has
passed eddy.. dun u make me stop loving u ok.
if ive made tad choice.. u can sae gdbye to Waidi ok.
dun u dare try me.. then u will regret ur whole life.

`moii cries are nothing to you anymore..........

it brightens moii day.

2008-07-30T19:49:00.000+08:00

school brightens moii dae.. to be specified i have
great frens whom alwaes brighten moii dae.. even
tho eddy say those things towards moii frens.
i dun give a damn. its true u have all the rights..
but sumtings in moii life u can never take..
moii frens. we may have met for just a few months but
we've grown quite close......

anywaes.. on the 16th of aug.. it's confirmed...
im goink.. hahas! i dun care wateva he says la.
once in awhile i wanna have fun.. and im oso
still young. y not.. just know moii limits.
i'll be fine... just having a lil fun..
anywae.. Man pun pegi pe.. sooo... atleast ok la..
bestfren... hahas..!

hopefully tis class outing will work out as planned..=]

School was superb. Todae we did wire locking...
And tis coming fridae.. im gonna learn how to
use the talk wat la... i dunno.. forgot already..
hahas.. but atleast i rmbr how to use it..
wEe~!! i cAn wAit.. hMmmmm.... it's gOnna Be
fun..!!! but!!!!!!.... Next Wed wiLL bE Moii
pHase tEst fOr wiRe LoCking... woAh~~!!

ScAry sEhh... iiM noT sOo suRe i cAn dO it...
hOpefully i wOnt fReaKed oUt aNd fOrgEt evErytink.
hAhAs. hOpeFully nOt.. hErMmmm...
bUt ShUd bE eAsy La.. juSt nEed lOads mOre
pRactice.. iM sUre i cAn mAke it La..
bUt dUn bE tOo cOnFideNt.. hAhs.

Ok La.. gOink Off aLrEadi..
tOodLes..

Class outing

2008-07-26T19:56:00.000+08:00

Heyo! Moii classmates are planning to have
an outing. But im wondering whether i wanna go.
Haiish.. I have probs of moii own. Becos of wat Din
said.. Eddy doesnt trust all of them. Urgh! Bingit sehh.
Just 1 stupid qns can turn everting to shit.
I cant believe Eddy is like tish. Sumhow he's getting
so protective now. I dunno wat to do already.

I was asking hym to celebrate moii birthdae wit me.
And he said.. He's busy.. so why not i celebrate it wit
moii classmates. Atleast they're not BUSY... Yet u're moii
husband.. and u cant understand moii feelings.
Why are u doing tis to me.. Its moii 18th birthdae..
and it means sumting to me.. but u dun seemed to undastand.
It just hurts me more. Moii birthdae doesnt mean anyting to u.
Its ok. Thx anywae.

I'll celebrate it moiiself... Its ok.
I'VE GOTTEN USED TO IT!

a strange qns

2008-07-24T19:35:00.000+08:00

Todae seems to be a strange day and left me wondering why
the qns was asked.. hmm... Moi classmate Din...
out of the sudden asked me.. "u dun wanna flirt anymore?"
then i was like... "what?!" wat kind of qns is tis ryte...

then i asked wat was his motive to asked tad kind of qns.
and he replied me... "no.. its just like u got married at a
young age and if u were to live for abt 80yrs old.. tad means
u will spend 7 over 8 of ur life wit tad one prsn.. and u onli
spend 1 over 8 wit urself." mayb to hym.. i may have not realli
enjoyed moii life as a teen. but to me.. i dun feel tad way.
i dun feel tad im at the losing end. if Eddy can provide me
wit everyting and be a good husband to me. why shud i be
complaining. am i ryte? he doesnt beat neither he control
moii life. its already good enuff tad he gives me to study
further.. like sum guys they wont even let their wives work.

so.. why shud i take advantage of moii husband's trust.
he trust tad i can take care of myself and i dun wana go beyond
the line. i love hym just the way he is. =) we've gone thru
alot and im not gonna ruin it just bcos there are tons of
handsome guy in moii school.. doesnt mean they're handsome..
they have a good heart..

ive prepared moiiself for tis marriage and motherhood.
im not gonna back out. all moii life ive alwaes committed to
one guy.. why now shud i be bored wit tad one guy i love alot..
ive gotten used to being so loyal to one. tis wont bother me.
i can alwaes make frens.. tad's the limits. notink more than tad.

i love moii familie alot. i wont want to give up all tis jus bcos
i tink i still want freedom. which i dun want to. im taking
tis course also bcos i wanna have a betta future for moii
familie. and earn a betta living. its all for Waidi's future.
His school and everytink. i need to help Eddy to provide for moii
son and probably moii other children if i have any.
Prices are goink higher.. if moii husband is the only one working..
we wont have enuff to support everyone. im doink the best i can
for tis familie. i dun wanna ruin it.

Moving on wit moii past. ive given up moii old "buddies"..
Things have changed alot. just me and moii gerlfwens. =)
me and moii darlinks. frens are just frens....

woohoo~

2008-07-22T20:19:00.000+08:00

Todae go Fire station. wahh~ kental sehh.
i wasted moii 1 and a half hr.. listening to the typical thing.
"Fire safety". Lame ryte? haiish..
but ok la.. school was fun and funny todae..!
hahas. Firman was the joker of the day!
hahas. he was pushed and hugged the trees. hahs.
And his name is called Boi pokok! hahas. Hazreel la.. go
and push Man. Kecian Man... hahahah! but it
was sumtink tad i cnnt forget la.
klakar la. then go Fire station... most of the
idiots in moiiclass go their own nicknames. hahas.

Hafis- Boi Toyol
Hazreel- Boi Matrep
Prakash- Boi Misai
Firman- Boi Pokok
Zai- Boi Gigi
Amsyar- Boi Smart

Style kan? hahah. Oh yea.. and Kumar
was the father of 2 children. hahas. i tink todae was
one of the funniest day in school.
seriously sehh... i dun tink i wud forget tis dae.
sumtyms school is fun but at times its stressing uh.
but tmrw like shit uh.. Alex nya class uh. hate tis teacher.
Its alwaes the hair problem.. haiish... malas la nk layan.
b4 tish school was betta. kecian aku.. just uat bodo je la kan...
hahas.

what's with life?

2008-07-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

Sumhow i feel tad the more im trying to run or walk away frm shikin
the more she's THERE!! like fuck tau. what else u wan?
stop bothering us.. pls la.. u got apit ryte? fine. then go.
bring hym back to ur place.. y moii place? 'eddy tknk dok uma sbab ko.
ko tau tk. jgn mcm sial la shikin.. u're realli a bitch u noe tad..'

sick and tired of her.. haiish~
**********

school is getting bored. sleepy summore.
but i tink i have to realli buck up la.
tis can realli bring me future..
for waidi's sake and future.. anything will do.
im willing to do more. =)
***********

haiish.. borink la.. notink to do.
eddy's outsyd.. and im on the phone with sam.
its like funny u noe. raden and eddy at coffee shop.
me and sam on the phone. and all of us are talking crap.
hahas. well.. partly la.. eddy is having a meeting wit the bunch
of "monkeys". hahas. kay la.. punks.
dunno wats the meeting about. hmm... waiting for hym to go back.
i wana talk to hym atleast awhile.. i misx hym sehh.
hahas. funny huh.. hmm... just used to have hym around u.
and even after we're married we still have to stay apart.
wat luck... ok la.. i tink i wanna chill out.

nytes. toodles.

boredom

2008-07-11T14:37:00.000+08:00

ive not being goink to school. hahas. like 4 days.
i went only once. tad was wednesday.
lazie uh. anywae.. i still have tinted hair.
boring uh.. why the course strict.
like shit. i realli lazie wanna dye it back.
sumday the colour will fade anywaes.
so wats the diff. ryte?
mayb end if tis week. if not.. just go to school la..
heck care la.. they wanna nag.. nag la..
after the hols.. i already lazie wanna go back to school.
haiish.. have to mahh..
i wanna change ryte... have to la...
kay la.. i tink tads all.

hate her more each dae..

2008-07-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

Damn man tis shikin... dae by dae..
she make me hate her more. pleash la..
havent u realised tad u are making the space more
squeezy when u cum. idiot is it?
it was goink well when apit alwaes sleeps at ur place.
now.. u are getting in moii nerve. stop cuming.
dun make me realli hate u to the core.
and i'll make sure i'll do.
"da la sombong. berlagak kaya. padahal.. ada hati kata
dia sorang menampung keluarga.. tapi ada duit gi clubbing
every week. what the hell? ada duit beli brang mahal2?
ane dpt duit...?"

dun act like u are someone but actuallie ure just like us too.
get a life shikin. get married early so i dun have to see ur face anymore.
sick of ur face. u act like u can effort everytink.. but actuallie..
haiish... act rich.. hahs.. seriously... go away!!
im not jealous.. but it sumtink tad u dun have to show off.

wOohOo..

2008-07-03T17:58:00.000+08:00

Thanks loads darls.. for getting me that HP. whahah.
aNywaEs.. this Hp is more diff to use than the usual motorola Hp.
but it good enuff. just need to get use to it.

anywaes.. Abt azimah.. her son is admitted to the hospital..
and im damn worried but she saes tad probably her son
can be discharged by tmrw. hopefully.. poor baby.
only 2months old and he is already having problems with his
lungs. haiish.. wat to sae.. nowadays, anyone can get sick, at any age.
so.. we must be careful of what we eat or what we give our children eat.
haiish.. scary isnt it.

tad's all la.
gd day.

cute kan? hahas.

Familie day

2008-06-29T02:57:00.000+08:00

holla... well.. jus now went to ECP.
we went to big splash.
i and moii cousins tot it was like Wild wild wet.
But the prob was.. we got the wrong info.
hahas. LAME..
anywaes.. we didnt realli had much fun.
but mayb sumtimes in life u need to have
some fresh air with our loved ones. even if we find it bored or lame.
i realised after being married and all.. tad actuallie..
it not tad bad u noe..
i used to tot that goink out with moii mother was so called
"embarassing".. well, actuallie its not.
once u are far from ur parents, then u realised how much
they mean to u.
i learn tad the hard way. seriously..
and sumhow.. it hurts to be away from them.
no one noes u betta than them.
if u look in a positive way.. its not tad bad being with ur familie.
but one ting, u have to act like a kid. cos to them u still are.
mayb not to u tho...
no matter wat they know wats best for u.
as u grow.. u get wiser.. it makes u tink for the betta.
Love ur loved ones as much as u can and u wont regret.
heed my werds cos its true.

updates for the few weeks.

2008-06-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

orytes.. i'll start by talking abt moii 2weeks i spent at moii mom's place.

18 June 2008
Me and moii familie went to have lunch at Swensen's Tampines Mall.
Woah~! Do u know tad we spend 2 hours++.. Just to eat.. hahs.
And the food was delicious. hahas.. like duh~
Restaurants wont be called restaurants if its not nice ryte.
Anyways.. here are some pix of us..

******************************

Tad's the pix.
Anywaes.. i have some pix i wanna share..
Tad's probably all.

Thx for reading. hahas.

Here's a pix of moii lil couzie and moii baby boii.

haiish

2008-06-09T12:38:00.000+08:00

well... i've started to smoke again but...
just at school...
i dun ask it from eddy la..
respect.. but he knows la...
he must know of cos..

anywae... i pass moii HF test..
but failed moii AGM test by 1 mark.
shit ryte. so i had to retake... tis wed.
anywae.. tis is the last week of school.
damns~.. gonna be bored for 3 whole weeks.
hmm... wat to do...??

notink left to update la.. u can tink of anytink else...