August 18, 2009 ♥
What did it took for me to see that life wasn’t just life? How to live life? These are the thoughts I’ve been thinking. If I hadn’t make any mistakes. Will life be different? I wondered. I’ve always wondered what would be if things didn’t happen. I’m not saying I’m regretting, just wondering. How life would have been if things went the other side of the path which I didn’t put a thought to it. Until now - I realized how much important your choices in life brings you, to the future. No doubt. So cliché- life suddenly left no meaning. Maybe to me though.
My life now is just about my beloved son. He revolves around my world. And because of him too, I’m trying my very best to be the best. Though things don’t always go the way I planned. But that’s ok. I can’t give up on him. Not even once. He’s my hope. It’s him – who gave me all this live! My smile and liveliness comes from him. Because of him – life means something more precious. He makes me feel whole.
It’s him who heals the holes in my heart - well actually there’s only one hole. But every time when it’s about to heal, someone will be the one to dig it up again. The same hole made by the same person. Over and over again, though that person is someone I love so dearly. Unexpected? Well, I’m not. It will just numb me more. The more he hurts me time and time again, it just get more numb. And maybe someday if I get lucky enough, I won’t feel hurt anymore. That’s probably be the day when I gave up on him literally. Yeah. I guess so. That’s when patience is at the limit. Though my darling son, will be so affected by my actions.
So, things like this need to be think thoroughly. Yeah. I love my son too much to let him suffer with me. Too much that I will die for him. Maybe you think I’m spoiling him. Actually I’m not, just justifying how much I would cost myself to ‘save him’. He’s my shoulder - my backbone. He’s my support, I need him more than anyone actually realized. Though, I don’t really show it. But it’s the facts of my life. Pathetic life isn’t it? Yes. Definitely, but that’s life. When you think it’ll get better, it’ll just give you more hurdles to overcome. Let’s just say I’m neutral. I can’t go cussing about my life but at the same time I can’t really embrace it either. So, I’m neutral.
`zaza.
The Details. ♥
♥ Just mE & tHem.
*22 this year.
*My baby boy, Waidi.
*My hubby, Eddy.
"What's life without them?"
"NO LIFE, They are my everything."
